End the year on a good note and one more tag
No year in review, no resolutions, no hangover (although if you have one, try this remedy)
Happy New Year!
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 02:25:00 PM
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Saturday, December 31, 2005
No year in review, no resolutions, no hangover (although if you have one, try this remedy)
Happy New Year!
End of game - NC State 14, USF 0
Well that was something. First bowl game, first shutout.
My highlight of the game - and I had to look hard, other than the poor unsupported defense - was the commentary of Andre Ware. As far as I'm concerned he was as good as half the NFL color guys on any network.
He did have one questionable comment. After Pat Julmiste's interception Ware said the throw showed that Julmiste has a lot to learn as a quarterback.
What did the rest of the game say then, Andre? It seemed like every single decision Julmiste made was the exact wrong one, particularly running the ball on a 4th and long late in the game.
Was the Julmiste throwing the Gatorade shower on Chuck Amato? 0 for 2.
I sincerely hope USF is planning on starting Carlton Hill next year. They both have a lot to learn, but Hill has more time to do it. Heck, they could even run the option next year.
UCF loses on a missed extra point. Miami plays the worst half I can remember, possibly the worst game I can remember. USF gets shutout.
Good luck, FSU and UF.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 02:12:00 PM
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End of 3rd Quarter - NC State 14, USF 0
I think USF just turned the ball over during the 3rd quarter intermission.
What a beautiful quarter - I think anyone still watching is hoping Basscenter will come back on. Credit to the crew calling the game for making this game sound much more exciting than it is.
And yet again, the Bulls defense pulls off some miracles - that goal-line stand was amazing (although that was some USF-like play calling by NC State).
Oh look - now a missed field goal! Take 37 for the offense.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 01:28:00 PM
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7:20 3rd quarter - NC State 14, USF 0
So much for Carlton Hill. Two drives, two fumbles. The curse of the mobile quarterback - they never want to throw the ball away.
This defense has answered both times the Bulls had costly errors - blocked punt followed by three and out, fumble followed by fumble. Can they do it again?
But how many opportunities does the offense want before they actually do something? Andre Hall has had some huge plays, but the poor guy needs some help.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 01:07:00 PM
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Halftime - NC State 14, USF 0
What the heck was with NC State's lingering on the field at the end of the half. Did they forget football has two halves? Maybe that will fire up the Bulls - Lord knows they need something.
Promising drives with no scoring - that's becoming an unfortunate trademark for USF. We haven't seen one of those atrocious goal-line stumbles, but we haven't gotten that far either.
And I'd love to say that USF needs to stop being conservative before the deficit gets bigger, but that would mean Julmiste throwing the ball. I'd love for him to prove me wrong, but he had most of the year to do that. If Leavitt is even thinking about playing Carlton Hill, the first drive of the second half might be the time.
Why is it that USF always tosses in a few successful option plays early and then seems to forget it's even in their playbook?
And as usual, the first couple of drives in the second half could very well decide the whole game for USF. NC State doesn't score much on offense, so if USF can get even the slightest thing going they could certainly make a comeback. This looks like the West Virginia game, but NC State is not West Virginia.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 12:19:00 PM
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8:13 2nd quarter - NC State 7, USF 0
So much for dominant defense. Looks like the Wolfpack offense realized that they need quick passes to keep their QB from being hit so much. And one of NC State's running backs looks great.
Hold your breath - time to see how Julmiste reacts to being behind.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 12:01:00 PM
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End of 1st Quarter - USF 0, NC State 0
So THAT's where Andre Ware ended up. Nice to see he's getting work.
It only took a few minutes for South Florida to be called "UFS," by token woman on the sidelines Heather Mitts. (Note: 18 years ago Tampa Bay area newscaster Gayle Sierens became the first woman to call an NFL game - what are the chances that will happen now?)
I'm already sick of George Foreman.
Wouldn't you know it - the offense looks creative. Julmiste looks just about average - all we can ask. Hall looks good. So far this is the perfect offense to keep the Wolfpack's killer defensive ends from killing us.
As for the defense, they are reliably great - today so far they look dominant. The blocked punt by NC State looked like the kind of big play made bigger in a probably low scoring game. The resulting offensive possession? Three and out. The front seven for the Bulls looks much more dominant thant the ballyhooed NC State front.
Now USF just has to get some points out of this promising offense. The West Viriginia had some promising drives early, too.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 11:33:00 AM
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Bear got laid
Or something like that.
To Bitch Lab (tag), in reference to her post on TTLB's missing links (I'm on fire!):
Two of your links are now showing on my TTLB stats. That did not however prevent me being downgraded from Crawly Amphibian to Flippery Fish.
Maybe Stephen Colbert is right about bears. Bastards.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 02:22:00 AM
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Bulls at eleven
I had a whole post written about the Bulls' game. Then my laptop shut itself off. And to think I had recently marvelled at my computer's performance at almost three years old.
So now I don't feel like rewriting it. My wisdom will be lost forever.
Anyhow, I had picked NC State in the post that never was. I'm going to take this as a sign - no, not a sign that I need a new computer. I'm going to let team bias take over - USF 20, NC State 16.
But as long as USF doesn't get pummelled like the Hurricanes, or shamefully miss an extra point like UCF, I'll be happy.
Posted by Joel at 12/31/2005 02:14:00 AM
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Thursday, December 29, 2005
Where breathing is a pleasure
I'm usually not one to medicate when not feeling well, but when I'm trying to sleep enough to hopefully feel better for work the next day I'll usually down something. Nyquil is officially right out; two nights ago confirmed what I had hoped was a fluke last time I used the stuff - that the only effect Nyquil has on me is leaving me wide awake in bed, wondering why I can't get that horrible taste out of my mouth.
My usual medicine of choice is Thera-Flu. I like drinking the hot liquids when I'm sick, and it does always manage to alleviate symptoms just enough to allow me to fall asleep.
Last night I went into the medicine cabinet in search of the Thera-Flu, but instead found the Publix brand equivalent - Maximum Strength Flu, Severe Cold & Congestion, Nighttime Formula.
Catchy.
I know plenty of people cannot stomach the taste of Thera-Flu. For some reason I not only don't mind it but find it oddly pleasing. Publix's FSCC tastes not unlike a six year old's chemistry-set-attempt at recreating the flavor of Thera-Flu.
You know what; cleverness can't save this one.
It tastes like butt.
And to further the damage, it did nothing to ameliorate my symptoms or make me drowsy. In fact I am pretty sure I felt worse, butt taste aside. But what else could I expect from a product that promises flu, severe cold and congestion?
Several lost hours and toohbrushings later I decided it was time for action. In the same cabinet was a bottle of codeine cough syrup my wife was prescribed several months ago. I didn't have a cough, but God bless codeine - I was out in no time.
This morning I woke up with maximum strength congestion, the type that feels like a Michael Bay movie in your sinuses. I was also feeling rather groggy, no doubt a codeine hangover. I decided to stay home, managed to spend most of the day staring at the wall.
I still have three Publix FSCC packets left and feel masochistically compelled to use them rather than throw them away. Perhaps it's out of fear that pilgrim salt and pepper shakers will come after me in my sleep. Good thing I won't be sleeping much tonight.
Mad man never go "pop" like snot bubbles
- Madvillain, "All Caps"
Posted by Joel at 12/29/2005 10:58:00 PM
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Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Bloggers return
Two local bloggers are back from some time away.
Shortly after I discovered it on the St. Pete Times' blog page and added it to my blogroll, The Jillabuster Blog seemed to come to a halt. Jill posted on Christmas after almost a month; hopefully she'll be able able to find some time in a busy schedule to post more regularly.
And Peter Schorsch is back at Saint Petersblog after some time to "genuinely reflect." He was profiled rather negatively in a recent St. Pete Times story, a story he has no use for. He is moving on with his life and hopes you can join him, as long as you're not just out to get him.
Posted by Joel at 12/28/2005 10:38:00 PM
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FL governor's race e-mail newsletter update
Still nothing from either Gop candidate, although Charlie Crist's campaign has apparently been busy sending spam. Did I do something?
Rod Smith has sent two messages, although the second one was simply to correct a mistake in the first one, referring to "former Republican Governor Mel Martinez" (try Bob, Rod).
Jim Davis' e-mails, like most episodes of "Will and Grace," are quite cameo-laden. I had already received a message from Bob Graham; we can now add Rhea Chiles (widow, not adopted daughter) and Jennifer O'Malley Davis, who lamely suggested that a donation to the campaign would be the perfect Christmas present - "no assembly required."
Extra points to Davis for the lovely Christmas card.Perfect Christmas present? How about shoes and sunglasses?
Posted by Joel at 12/28/2005 09:27:00 PM
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"Snark, sass and destruction" - now with more snark
Admit it; you feel a void now that Christmas is over. How will we cope without a right-wing, journalistic Chicken Little act?
Thank you, Kathleen Parker, for Lord of the blogs.
Ms. Parker, the syndicated columist - the mercenary of the journalism world - has declared a war on bloggers. Alright - maybe not so much a war.
We can't silence them, but for civilization's sake - and the integrity of information by which we all live or die - we can and should ignore them.
My my, those are harsh words. Particularly harsh from the same woman who says this in the same column:
I've been a blog fan since the beginning, and have written favorably about the value added to journalism and public knowledge thanks to the new "citizen journalist"
Eh?
Within the column she does make a distinction between bloggers worth her time and bloggers that are a danger to civilization.
I mean no disrespect to the many brilliant people out there - professors, lawyers, doctors, philosophers, scientists and other journalists who also happen to blog...
Sorry I'm not a professional philosopher. Still, how pragmatic of you.
...But we should beware and resist the rest of the ego-gratifying rabble who contribute only snark, sass and destruction.
There we go. Destruction is the least you should expect from a danger to civilization. (I might add that Ms. Parker is I hope referring specifically to political commentary blogs. I'd be curious to find the danger in, say, Shutterblog - tag!)
There's more.
They play tag team with hyperlinks ("I'll say you're important if you'll say I'm important) and shriek "Gotcha!" when they catch some weary wage earner in a mistake or oversight.
By the way, thanks to Dave at spacecoastweb for alerting me to this column. Tag!
This is starting to sound personal. Bring it home, Kat!
Bloggers persist no matter their contributions or quality, though most would have little to occupy their time were the mainstream media to disappear tomorrow. Some bloggers do their own reporting, but most rely on mainstream reporters to do the heavy lifting.
Blogs can do the heavy lifting sometimes too. Tag!
My guess is that there will be a lot of bloggers opining on your column, Kathleen. There's a good chance this was precisely the idea behind you writing this, you attention-starved minx you. Either way you should know by now that bloggers are probably the mainstream media's most reliable customer. You guys give us such priceless material.
Kathleen is smart enough to know the unreliable media argument is coming.
That a Jayson Blair of The New York Times or a Jack Kelley of USA Today surfaces now and then as a plagiarist or a fabricator ultimately is testament to the high standards tens of thousands of others strive to uphold each day without recognition. Blair and Kelley are infamous, but they're also gone.
Fair enough. I'll be the first to admit that traditional journalists have a much more verifiable batting average than the rabble.
Here's the most priceless metaphor in the piece.
Each time I wander into blogdom, I'm reminded of the savage children stranded on an island in William Golding's "Lord of the Flies." Without adult supervision, they organize themselves into rival tribes, learn to hunt and kill, and eventually become murderous barbarians in the absence of a civilizing structure.
Supervision is precisely what a blog, even an irresponsible one, can and should be for the media. I'd like to think we can leave journalists to their own policing, but I have absolute no faith in them anymore. Had anyone outside the extreme left raised even the slightest question about why we were invading Iraq I might be willing to give credit. But even the networks now criticized for only reporting the bad in Iraq couldn't help themselves when they smelled the ratings of war. Strap on your boots and night-vision goggle - let's get embedded! It just so happens that a lot of the media now asking questions about this administration are probably just still chasing ratings. That doesn't mean their questions aren't without merit - I just doubt the intention.
The point is that while blogging can certainly be inaccurate it is still the expression of the populace, and most importantly a voice without a weekly paycheck. I doubt that most blogs save for wildly popular ones like Daily Kos (tag!) incur much in the way of living wages. It's amazing how liberating moonlighting can be.
Is it narcissistic? Sure (self-tag!). But doesn't that go for all writing? Calling yourself a "weary wage earner" doesn't change anything, other than cement the boohooness of the whole column. The idea behind bloggers eviscerating every little mistake journos make might be a little bit about Schadenfreude, but don't let the ego-tripping get out of hand. If people - including the media - take everything they read in blogs seriously, that's no fault of ours. Why not celebrate the addition of this still infant medium to the wide range of information available to all of us? Put it all together and come to your own conclusion. It's a beautiful thing.
That said, for our sake we should all ignore Kathleen Parker.
Snarky.
Goodbye small hands
Goodbye small heart
Goodbye small head
My soul is climbing tree trunks
And swinging from every branch
- Sleater-Kinney, "Get Up"
Posted by Joel at 12/28/2005 08:12:00 PM
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Take 7
The Village Voice released their Take 7 poll, a survey of many film critics' favorites of the year. The #1 film was "A History of Violence", one of about five movies I saw at theatres all year. I even made an attempt at reviewing it.
An essay by head movie critic J. Hoberman points out the death of mass-appeal films, as there is nary a commercially driven, let alone commercially successful, film near the top films. Well, unlike the Voice's much more democratic Pazz & Jop music poll (this year's should come out sometime in February) it seems to me like the majority of critics polled in Take 7 and past polls are probably none too concerned about the dire state of the mainstream. The list is usually very foreign-centric, with a predictable obsession with China and Hong Kong. I'm not sure that this poll can be trusted to provide any kind of authentic evidence of the state of Hollywood.
Hoberman might be the worst of them. I rarely have the patience for his dense, how many French phrases can I impress you with style (Robert Christgau, the Voice's head music critic is dense but at least has something to say under there somewhere). In fact despite my tendency towards movie snobbery I often seek out what he pans and avoid what he praises. It just so happens that he thought "A History of Violence" was pretty darn good - I may have to rethink my opinion.
But if you're looking for movies that more than likely never played in Tampa - despite the best efforts of both Sunrise Cinemas and Tampa Theatre - you might find a film or two you'll be happy you chose over Grandma's Boy.
Posted by Joel at 12/28/2005 01:35:00 AM
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Break
A combination of a new Xbox racing game, the surround system that I still haven't finished installing thanks to --> and sudden allergy-like symptoms are keeping me pretty blogless.
Is anyone else tired of reviewing the year? Everyone's going to get hammered on New Year's Eve to forget this year anyway, so why rehash it?
The picture? Do I ever need a reason?
Posted by Joel at 12/28/2005 12:50:00 AM
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Monday, December 26, 2005
War is over
What will Bill O'Reilly whine about now that Christmas is over? I'm sure he'll think of something.
The materialism was a success this year. I finally have a surround sound system to go with the big-screen TV, although I'm much too tired to mess with countless wires right now. And I doubt the neighbors would appreciate me testing out the sound.
My wife is already obsessed with her Nintendo DS and Nintendogs:Dachshund & Friends. She always had a pet growing up (dogs, rabbits, horses), but we both agree an apartment is no place for a dog, at least not the size we want (no little yappy dogs). This was a strange but successful compromise.
Yes, my 25 year old kindergarten teacher wife is playing with her virtual pet, and loving every minute of it. And I love every minute of her. I swear we're mature, enough.
Posted by Joel at 12/26/2005 12:11:00 AM
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Sunday, December 25, 2005
Web design for web design's sake
Second only to the Musee D'Orsay in Paris (see my header), the Design Museum in London was my favorite museum experience from our honeymoon, and we are big museum-hoppers - I figure at least fourteen during the two weeks we spent in Paris, London and Barcelona. Certainly the modern feel of the place was a welcome respite from all the antiquities and masters we saw the rest of the time. Formula One cars, Tomb Raider, rock albums, coffeemakers - they had it all in a stylish building along the Thames near the very antique Tower Bridge.
One of the first three links I ever included here was Nobody Here, which was featured at the Design Museum. I checked it out again recently. It's not an open-ended affair - more of a permanent art installation piece. You can get lost in there, but it's a blast.
Run the mouse cursor over each link along the top of the page and watch the man at the computer go into action. You can download your own fish cursor - there are a lot of fish. The E-cards are fun, particularly the disturbing tweezer card.
My favorite feature is the stream of consciousness to the right of the man at the computer. Click each word and the absurdism grows deeper, funnier and yet still more confounding. Short-short stories, more fun with Flash, positively bizarre photo doctoring - it's probably what a Bunuel/Dali collaboration would look like today, only without the prevailing sexual obsession.
Posted by Joel at 12/25/2005 01:03:00 AM
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Saturday, December 24, 2005
The inevitable life in perspective moment
(If you don't want to be bummed out for the holidays, feel free to skip this post)
I came home tonight ready to tell my wife about the marginally successful evening I had playing poker at the casino. My news immediately became irrelevant when she gave me the news that one of her best friends - she's named after my wife's grandmother, she gave a toast at our wedding - had been in a horrible car accident. She is alive, and apparently quite fortunate to be so.
Based on what we know she had stopped at a red light but the car behind her did not. But rather than the typical tap when someone misses a red light, the car behind her was going full speed and obviously wasn't prepared to stop. She is in intensive care right now although doctor's are giving her a good chance to survive. That said, she did suffer a bruised spine, several broken vertebrae - one of which was so severely crushed that the doctors had to pick the pieces out to remove it completely. She has had an iron rod inserted into her back, a rod which will almost completely limit her ability to move her head up and down. Thankfully she doesn't seem to be facing paralysis, although her hands have not been responding well. She could be in the hospital for a month; after that she will undergo a year's worth of physical therapy and rehabilitation. She can't go back to work for a year.
This woman is one of the most outgoing people I have ever met. She works very hard, the only way she knows how. As is often the case with hard-working, outgoing types she's also a bit high-strung and restless. The fate she is staring down is not one I would wish on anyone, but she is that much more unequipped for a life so limited by her own body. She is fortunate to have a husband that does love her and is very much time type that could handle having to help her do just about everything, but that doesn't help make the whole situation any less horrifying.
Added to the ache I feel for these people and the joy I feel for the arbitrary fortune/blessing of my own life, I'm not sure I ever want to set foot in a car ever again. I'd like to think most car accidents are quite avoidable, but what do you do when a car slams into you at a red light? Even if you looked in the rear-view mirror and saw it happening, there's nothing you could actually do to remove yourself from harm's way. But tomorrow I'll get in my car. And the next day.
Pay attention.
Posted by Joel at 12/24/2005 02:17:00 AM
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Friday, December 23, 2005
Will the fighting ever stop?
This Christmas boondoggle is getting worse every day. Not even the Biblical traditions of Santa Claus are safe.
Broadcast network UPN's "Everybody Hates Chris" recently aired an episode in which a character told his younger sister that Santa Claus was a fake.
Everybody knows there's no Santa Claus. Come here, let me show you something. I'm taking you to the toys ... Santa doesn't come down the chimney. We don't even have a chimney. We have radiators.
Sharp writing aside, UPN received some complaints about the line. Apparently parents aren't about to have television make liars out of them by filling their children with crazy notions about Santa's mythical nature.
"My wife told him it was just a TV show and to ignore it," show co-creator Ali LeRoi said. "It worked. He believes her. Kids trust their parents that way."
Maybe it was that my parents thankfully never tried to pull this one on me, but I am very sure that at the age of six Santa Claus' existence was never part of my belief system. And yet to this day I am able to enjoy Christmas to its fullest extent, minus Manheim Steamroller which isn't really music at all.
On the show, young Tonya becomes a lot more cynical. Her mother explains that Santa Claus is a symbol and asks: "So you do understand?"
"Yeah," the girl replies. "It's OK to lie."
Pretty good stuff. I may have to start watching this show.
Posted by Joel at 12/23/2005 02:55:00 AM
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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Champagne wishes and congressional dreams
Yessiree, these are my fat-cat pants.The 2004 elections were the first time I ever donated any amount of money to a political campaign, a very small amount to the ill-fated Kerry camp. It took some deliberation for me to finally part with that money, not because of any uncertainty about the candidate (though that was certainly there) but because I was uncertain of how my money would actually be used. In the end I decided that even if the money went to "administrative fees" or boxes of staples, it was still money being put to good use.
Apparently my pitiful altruism is not shared by some who donate money to politicians.
"I guess it's almost an automatic fifty bucks to anybody who's on my side," said George Wrenn, a retired architectural historian from Freedom, N.H.
That's a quote from a man that donated $50 to one of Tom DeLay's many political groups, in response to a report that DeLay's fund-raising machine has provided the Texas congressman quite the luxurious life: world-class resorts, four-star restaurants, PGA golf courses, corporate jets.
Before anyone thinks this is just another lefty lambasting of the right, I absolutely do not doubt that extravagant living is a bipartisan activity. It just so happens that DeLay has rarely faced a formidable opponent for his congressional seat, so his warchest is rarely even dented during campaigns. And he's decided his exhausting fund-raising schedule necessitates some "relaxation."
I sincerely hope that the attitude taken by the quoted donor is in the minority. As usual my hopes are sad as a three-legged puppy. If DeLay's legal troubles even manage to penetrate through the all the good news coming out of the White House - oh snicker - I doubt that these examples of shameless waste will awaken anyone but the already awake. Everyone else will either continue to not care or refuse to even consider that their precious Hammer could do anything wrong. And John McCain's principles, which forbid him from sailing along with the currently dominant wing of the Republican party, will continue to render his efforts for campaign finance reform useless.
While my time is much more valuable than my money, at least my time can't be stashed away for a vacation to Jamaica and $35 bouillabaisse. Let my cynicism overcome me, but if I feel moved by any particular campaign it'll be just time - not another drop in the bucket from me.
Posted by Joel at 12/20/2005 05:53:00 PM
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Monday, December 19, 2005
Hockey bids for attention, confuses itself for football
With some time before the George Foreman Bowl and no real point in discussing my favorite NFL team (at least we didn't get shutout by the Patriots - I'm going to hear it for that), it's been a while since I went down the sports route.
That said I couldn't help but notice the scoreboard tonight and see the Toronto/NY Islanders game. 9-6 - wow. Oddly enough the game finally gave Ed Belfour his 448th win, leaving him all alone as the second winnigest goalie in NHL history. What a way to win.
Posted by Joel at 12/19/2005 10:57:00 PM
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Google, Korea and Kanye's mom
I recently spoke of my obsession with Google Earth, Google's spy movie satellite imagery program. Fortunately there are others much more obsessed.
Consider a story in the Village Voice about Google Earth user Popenyc, who has compiled an exhaustive database of "Hip Hop Places," from "Eminem's Childhood Home" (pictured above) to "Kanye West Mom's New House," which proves Kanye is every bit the mama's boy he sounds like on record.
But of course someone has to go and ruin the fun. South Korea has officially complained to the US about pictures of different military sites in that country. Come on, North Korea hasn't even complained (yet) - who do you think you are?
Posted by Joel at 12/19/2005 06:17:00 PM
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Let MSN be your guide
My new favorite search that led to ...BEEHO. Someone in South Carolina went to MSN and searched this:
What does integrity mean to me?
Poor confused soul.
The search led them to this post. I doubt that helped much.
In case you were wondering, the first two hits on MSN for said search provided:
Men of Integrity - "helping men be the godly men God called us to be" (redundant? repetitive?)
The Myth of Data Integrity - "Stored procedures and all things that make your database clever are evil," says David Heinemeier Hansson.
No wonder he ended up with me, hit #20. Good luck, Goose Creek - may you find the answers you need.
Posted by Joel at 12/19/2005 05:53:00 PM
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Sunday, December 18, 2005
...BEEHO needs your help
I wanted to put this picture in my last post but the innumerable amount of punchlines overwhelmed me (I was leaning to something about his wind-forecasting skills). Besides, I'm afraid I might be overplaying his finger fixation (Clinton did have the thumb).
Please comment with your suggestions.
Posted by Joel at 12/18/2005 11:56:00 PM
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Bush: blah blah blah
The White House ran another rerun of that same Bush speech from the last six years. I think it might have been a director's cut, because I did think I noticed a few deleted lines: things about "responsibility," which I know I haven't heard before. And like most deleted scenes, they added nothing to the overall story.
Like I did with another of Bush's recent speeches, I'm not sure there's much to be said (certainly not anything that wasn't already said by other area bloggers).
One particularly ironic line did catch my attention:
We continue to see violence and suffering, caused by an enemy that is determined and brutal -- unconstrained by conscience or the rules of war.
To borrow a line from Friends: Oh, hello, kettle? This is the President. You're black (I certainly make a case for my political commentary to be taken seriously when I quote NBC sitcoms).
Oh that's right - We do not torture.
This is what the critics of Bush's critics don't seem to understand. We do want America to succeed. That's precisely why we don't want this guy running the show. How can we expect anyone to listen when we are so two-faced in everything we say/do? This is all about perception. So this war is about sacrifice? Why didn't we sacrifice Rummy after the Abu-Ghraib disaster? Do you really think prosecuting a couple of grunts was going to make us look like we were sorry? Heck, I don't care if it really was just a couple of loose cannons - and I don't believe that for one second. Firing Rumsfeld would send a message to critics and to the world that we were trying to change.
I say were because it's probably too late. Much like everything else around Washington these days - that's you too, Democrats. If you acted sooner than months before you just toss words around, we might actually believe you. Taking responsibility now, especially in a back-handed way, means positively nothing - it's just sandbagging.
Posted by Joel at 12/18/2005 11:00:00 PM
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Lousy economy
My blog is worth $1,129.08.
How much is your blog worth?
Almost a month ago ...BEEHO was worth over a grand more. And this after already receiving three hits yesterday related to my Jennifer Aniston post from Friday. Costa is right - girl's are where it's at, blogging-wise.
He's also right that it would get pretty boring after a while. And I'm not sure that I'm that desperate for an audience.
Still no Joanna Kerns hits. Maybe I should have gone with Meredith Baxter.
Posted by Joel at 12/18/2005 10:23:00 PM
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Old people have all the fun
On different occasions several months ago my wife and I applied online to become poll workers for Hillsborough County elections. Both of us had been inspired to volunteer after I had a pretty lousy experience at the polls in 2004, an experience created by inept, irrational, cantankerous poll workers that seemed quite sure that anyone younger than they were - namely everyone - deserved no respect. Fortunately that day was the only poor experience I've had during my admittedly short voting life. Most of the time the poll workers are perfectly pleasant people, if maybe a tad slow.
Still it struck us that working the polls need not be a job left to retirees. The requirements are pretty simple - be registered, be literate. The classes are pretty short. And I doubt that it's hard for many of us to get a day off on that Tuesday, particularly with a valid excuse such as this. Apart from regulation that married couple cannot work the same precinct, we were excitedly awaiting the mailed packet that they told us would come after we applied.
Several months later and no packet. Perhaps there's an age minimum that's not advertised. Young people - they'll probably want to come in and change the system! Just lose their packet.
I wasn't blogging at the time I applied, but since then I thought that the experience might even prove to be a great topic. I guess I'll have to keep writing about mannequin sex. I wonder how many search engine hits that will get me.
Posted by Joel at 12/18/2005 08:39:00 PM
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Merii Kurisumasu
Because I'm still loyal to the 35mm world, this is simply a close representation of our Christmas tree this year.
Thanks to a combination of laziness, busy weeks and laziness, the wife and I had neglected to get a Christmas tree. With a week to go we were having trouble justifying the whole Christmas tree rigmarole. Bah humbug, huh?
While at my in-laws for our usual Sunday lunch, two of our better friends came over to do an early gift exchange. We got them memberships to MOSI, which I do believe were quite a hit. I got season one of Scrubs, which with the departure of Arrested Development from either Fox or TV in general will soon become my favorite show on the networks (as long as they don't cancel it too). But the biggest hit of the exchange was my wife's present, a bonsai tree courtesy of the fine folks at Eve's Garden Gifts.
Best of all it came decorated not unlike the tree pictured above. A great gift and a solution to our yulelessness. And to top it off I'm sure Bill O'Reilly would not approve of our Japanafication of Christmas. Now we just need to find some tiny gifts.
And we'll be doing the airplane wheel
Dancing
- Cornershop, "Funky Days Are Back Again"
Posted by Joel at 12/18/2005 06:35:00 PM
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Saturday, December 17, 2005
Bold prediction
From a rating of the upcoming Meineke Car Care Bowl between USF and NC State, on CBS Sportsline:
Get an early look at the 2006 Big East champions...
Really? Did they watch what West Virginia did to us? I'm not sure even I'm that optimistic. Still, it's nice to see we haven't completely disappeared off the national radar.
Posted by Joel at 12/17/2005 06:09:00 PM
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Friday, December 16, 2005
Focus, ye prudes
My hair will never leave me for another woman.The hubbub over the latest round of paparazzi photos of a topless Jennifer Aniston has reminded me of something only vaguely related.
A month or so ago I was dialing around the digital cable when I noticed The Good Girl was on the Joanna Kerns Channel. I had seen the movie long before and had enjoyed it, so I thought I'd tune in and see how it did on repeat viewing.
To summarize ever so briefly, Aniston plays a married woman who has a brief affair with a younger co-worker. The scene of their first dalliance, although played mostly bittersweet laughs, is graphic enough to have helped the movie earn an R rating. The sex is fairly vigorous, with clumsily forceful movement and some moaning from Ms. Aniston. A sheet covers them from the waist down, but you do get a few fleeting glimpses of her nipple, although the angle, lighting and brevity of the shots make it just as likely that it's shadow or maybe a bug. The scene is key to both the plot and the overall mood of the movie, so I was curious to see how the censors would handle it.
The entire scene aired in its entirety. But before you start applauding Lifetime for bucking the puritanical trends, I should mention that they did blur out her maybe-nipple. In other words, if it is indeed the children we're trying to protect: Hump like bunnies, but keep your top on.
It's quickly dawning on me that this post is going to inspire more search engine hits than any other (Stephen Colbert searches being the most common to this point), and that most of those people will very quickly click back and not come back. I am going to disappoint a lot of Joanna Kerns fans.
Posted by Joel at 12/16/2005 11:45:00 PM
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Things to make your head shake
Overheard in the line to sell books back at USF (paraphrased for lack of proper memory):
CUSTOMER: So when I sell my books, does the money go back on my credit card or do I get cash?
EMPLOYEE: You get cash.
CUSTOMER: Can I use it anywhere?
Posted by Joel at 12/16/2005 11:28:00 PM
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Is it a draw for privacy?
Round 1: Senate blocks
Round 2: Bush defends policy after eavesdropping report. It's interesting to me that despite the long amount of time that this story has been brewing - the New York Times apparently wanted to scoop this story a year ago, but instead deferred to requests from the White House that the story remain unpublished for the sake of national security - the White House seems pretty unprepared to respond. Instead of the usual bluster, all we've had are a few mentions of the policies still falling under the administrations interests to "uphold the law."
I'll take round 1 unanimously. Round 2 is up in the air. If this official turns out to be telling the truth, we probably shouldn't be surprised by any of this. Still, the thought of it is pretty alarming. The payoff will be in whether or not anything comes of this. If the story is buried - I smell a terror alert - then we definitely have some work to do. But if more information turns up to possibly corroborate this story and the whole things festers - we may have them on the ropes.
And by them I of course mean the Man.
Posted by Joel at 12/16/2005 10:51:00 PM
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Creating balance
It should be pretty obvious to everyone at this point that I'm more liberal than anything. But in the spirit of my proud independent status, as well as the fact that I'm certainly not all liberal, I've been trying to sprinkle in some conservative blogs in my blogroll.
While I've found plenty of pages I only visit out of curiosity and what must be a masochistic streak (no links provided because I promised), I must say that upon some inspection PEER Review has proven to be fairly astute and (so-far) only rarely off-putting.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going try to resist watching the O'Reilly Factor (no link provided because he's a tool).
Posted by Joel at 12/16/2005 08:58:00 PM
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Thursday, December 15, 2005
Reports from the e-campaign front for Florida governor
Several days ago I signed up for e-mail updates/newsletters from the websites of the four major candidates for governor of Florida. Here's an update:
Charlie Crist - no e-mail confirmation, no updates
Tom Gallagher - no e-mail confirmation, no updates
Jim Davis - no e-mail confirmation, one update (Bob Graham speaking about the recent Florida Democrat Conference)
Rod Smith - three e-mail confirmations (admittedly I did technically sign up three times, only because I was presented with an error page each time I clicked submit), no updates
Extra point to Rod Smith for the cute state of Florida icon that appears next to the link to his page on my Explorer Favorites folder.
Posted by Joel at 12/15/2005 01:06:00 AM
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Toys for (pretentious) grown-ups
80 years of intellectual journalism and befuddling punchlines - usually with talking dogs.It's been a few years since I gave myself a significant Christmas present, mostly for lack of ideas not too significant (we'll wait until the XBox 360 is cheaper, and glitch-free). With the added incentive of a significant employee discount, this year was too easy.
I'm now the proud owner of The Complete New Yorker, 8 DVD-ROM's containing 4,109 issues of the magazine since its first issue on February 21, 1925. And it's not just the text, but every cover, illustration, ad, bizarre cartoon (bravo to McSweeney's for skewering them perfectly) - it's all here for my immersion.
Obviously the right audience will fawn over this exhaustive library. But how's the packaging, the interface? They've been working on this for a while, and it shows. Search options are all you could ask for: filter by author, "department," year or issue. When you find the article you're looking for within the search results, click it and viewer will prompt you to insert the correct disc. You can browse by cover - click a cover and you'll be presented with the table of contents. Find an article you like, click it and it'll take you to the story exactly as it appeared in print. From there you can zoom - just click the left-mouse button; you can click-drag in zoom mode to move around the page. In flip mode, a click of the right-mouse button will turn the page for you.
My first search, being the proud Tampan (yes, for you out-of-towners, that's what they call us) that I am, was for mentions of "Tampa." The oldest mention was from the Talk of the Town section of the November 25, 1944 issue (cover price, 15 cents). It gave a story of a Tampa woman whose husband was a lieutenant serving in Italy. She wrote her husband in worry that she would not be a priority to receive a telephone (one of a thousand details of wartime that boggle my mind); he then sent her a phone from Italy, which the Southern Bell Telephone and Telegraph Company of Florida was happy to install. The writer (the section is credited to both Robert Hale and E.B. White - yes, that E.B. White) was worried about the precedent this chivalry was setting, a precedent that could prove to be "the greatest provocation to mass lawbreaking since Prohibition."
Pithy. But that may be what makes the The New Yorker so unique. Eighty years later, despite the astronomical changes in media and communication, the magazine has not changed much at all. It's still a magazine for reading, for readers. Bless them for sticking to it. Curse them for giving me another excuse not to leave the house.
Posted by Joel at 12/14/2005 10:35:00 PM
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Sherlock, constipated
Gotta stop smashing my chin into the microphones.Our President continues his mastery of the obvious.
Bush accepts responsibility for Iraq invasion. Almost three years later. Responsible? The leader or our nation, the man that sold this war to us? Well I'll be.
And I thought his acceptance of responsibility for the Katrina fiasco was ill-timed. Have I just become that much more jaded to the spin, or is this really that pathetic a cry for support? See, I said it. I'm dancing just like you want me to. Please don't make fun of me anymore.
I know it's not just me, because you can find plenty of criticism of Bush in arenas that once were lodged firmly in the upper regions of his gastric system. Certainly it's easier to jump ship when he's a lame duck and things aren't looking so rosy for 2006, but man I'll take anything right now.
But let's not ignore the timing of this poor attempt at accountability. There are elections taking place in Iraq right now. Though few will protest the fact that we're trying to hold elections in a country that is still extremely unstable, it's hard to not be happy for the Iraqi people and the relative progress in which they find themselves. My guess is the spin will sound something like this: Darn right he's taking responsibility - responsibility for a job well done (mission accomplished, even).
Either that or we'll get some sort of terror alert soon. Nothing gets the bad news off the headlines like the ol' fear-mongering.
Posted by Joel at 12/14/2005 10:13:00 PM
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005
The unasked question of growth
Today Tommy gave us a predictably well-put critique of our bumbling board of county commissioners in regards to their apparent ambivalence towards the question of public transportation.
In both cases I don't see that there's any doubt about the root source of our troubles. Tampa (and Florida) are growing wildly, with education and transportatipn both buckling in an attempt to support the growth. Kathy Castor, often the sole voice of reason on the BOCC, had a crazed solution to the problem: don't build until the area can support it.
The concept of zero-growth is normally applied to population and environmental issues. While that is certainly a valid correlation, I think the concept of zero-growth can be better utilized on a local level. How conservative of me.
But no matter the scale, human hubris makes the idea of zero-growth so ridiculous as to rarely even merit discussion. No matter what side of the political fence they occupy, presidents of this country always use economic growth as a sign that their policies are working. I don't doubt that even in the most dire of national situations you could always glean some growth from the myriad numbers used to determine that status. But rarely does anyone ask, "Is that a good thing?"
I think we have a hard time admitting to that we can be bound by factors outside of our control (need more land? Shove the Indians aside - it's destiny). Certainly population and economic growth are still nowhere as dangerous a problem here as they already are in many parts of Asia, where increasing population in already dangerous geography make devastating natural disasters (the tsunami, earthquakes in Kashmir, Iran, etc.) nearly Biblical. But that's precisely why we should take the opportunity of our still advantageous position to address this issue and arrive at sensible solutions.
Dream
Dream dream dream
- The Everly Brothers, "All I Have to Do is Dream"
Posted by Joel at 12/13/2005 02:29:00 PM
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Bubble boy
Wow. Fingers.So despite the pathetically scripted nature of his "town-hall meetings," his own admission to "rarely read[ing] the stories" in the news and his famous aversion to any type of criticism or bad news, Pres. Bush said in an interview that he's not in a bubble.
Actually he said "I don't feel in a bubble." Bless him and his Strunk&Whiteless speech.
I wonder if he knows about this little nugget?
Posted by Joel at 12/13/2005 12:18:00 AM
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Monday, December 12, 2005
Unemployment is rough
Who shall I alienate today?While his former teammates lost all hope of making the playoffs, Terrell Owens enjoyed a star-saturated party in celebration of his 32nd birthday. Included among the guests were 11 former teammates. Like that locker room needed a little more tension.
Some highlights from the article: (bring the block quotes!)
The party invitations arrived last week and were shaped like a penalty flag. They read: "There's a flag on the play? After further review, No. 81 is at it again."
Scantily clad women wearing different colored No. 81 jerseys with question marks representing the team name provided some of the entertainment for the guests.
And yes, Paris Hilton was there. Not so much because she's required by law to be present at every party, but because she wanted to support a fellow mostly undeserving newsmaker.
Meanwhile Owens' raving lunatic of an agent Drew Rosenhaus recently was fired as Green Bay Packer Javon Walker's agent. Rumor has it that Owens is considering dropping Rosenhaus as well.
Now that's a guy who needs to be unemployed. Worst of all he's another reason I feel guilty for being a Miami Hurricanes fan - he's an alumnus.
Sorry, Drew - I think you may be too sleazy for even Paris to show for your birthday party.
Posted by Joel at 12/12/2005 11:53:00 PM
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Pantsed - Crashing the blogosphere, part III
Lest I still think no one notices the ol' ...BEEHO, it seems that the person in charge of online operations for Jim Davis' gubernatorial campaign stumbled onto my post about the campaign site.
And like a good blogger should, he posted accordingly.
Assuming Mr. Davis checks up on his site, now the possible future governor of this state knows I made fun of his tie.
I guess I could have said worse. Now I really hope Crist isn't elected. So when I said I wasn't sure what Davis' blog meant to me, this wasn't exactly the context I had in mind. Nevertheless I certainly enjoyed the traffic spike today. And if I'm to believe Mr. Thornton's comment, I provided the campaign office with some midday entertainment.
You meet the darndest people with this blogging thing. I even got a couple of hits from NASA today. And unless they were on their lunch break, I know there's nothing related to work on here. Don't you guys have planets to discover or IMAX movies to make? Shame!
Posted by Joel at 12/12/2005 07:17:00 PM
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Sunday, December 11, 2005
Last stop on the gubernatorial candidate tour
One day son, this tie will be yours.And I must say I'm rather disappointed in myself. Much like I felt when I checked out Tom Gallagher's site, I can't say I found much at which to poke fun on Jim Davis's page. I will freely admit that with less than a year to go, my vote is leaning in his direction. But that shouldn't cause you to read anything into my relative lack of satire. I'd like to think that no matter how self-important I might get about my politics that I can retain my sense of humor.
I guess Davis' is probably the sharpest looking site of the four major candidates'. Much was made in the blogosphere about the blog feature on the new page. It's a nice touch politically (blogs are hip, like playing a saxophone on Arsenio), but I'm not terribly sure what that should mean to me. And although Davis' campaign is obviously more committed to the blog (several posts per day, several categories), Charlie Crist has also featured a blog on his site.
But Crist is from Neptune, and I believe human lineage is a prerequisite for holding office.
I think my relative ho-humness with Davis' site is a feeling I often get around election time. Once I pinpoint my likely candidate, I succumb to disappointment upon realizing that said candidate just doesn't excite me as much as they should. I'm far too cynical to buy into most campaign rhetoric, so I probably am incapable of being truly psyched about a candidate. My idea of the perfect politician is certainly impossible today and was likely never possible. I should adjust my expectations, but then I just feel like I'm losing.
In all seriousness there is one firm reason to vote for Davis.
Man needs a home.
Posted by Joel at 12/11/2005 07:27:00 PM
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Thank you, Grammys
I normally have absolutely no use for the Grammy nominations, but one category gave me a cause for celebration. Among the five nominees for best new artist is Fall Out Boy, responsible for this year's poster song for the Stop Saving Rock campaign, "Sugar, We're Going Down".
You see, there is a mostly supported curse on the winner of the new artist award. Granted Mariah Carey and Sheryl Crow have heartily survived the curse, but you also have to consider past winners such as Milli Vanilli, Men at Work, Arrested Development and Sheena Easton.
So now there's a one in five chance that the curse will soon haunt Fall Out Boy, ensuring that I won't have to hear them cock it and pull it for too much longer.
Posted by Joel at 12/11/2005 02:13:00 AM
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I've heard of integrity, but I've never had it
Merriam-Webster Online says that the most looked-up word on its site in 2005 was "integrity." It's nice to know that as we toss around talking points, we're actually bothering to find out what they mean.
Number 10 on the list? "Inept."
The sheer volume of Bush administration jokes overwhelms me.
Posted by Joel at 12/11/2005 01:29:00 AM
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Saturday, December 10, 2005
When good cities rent bad
Somebody's trying to kill my booty!Hey, Tampa; what the heck are you renting?
Netflix, my favorite e-business, has a feature on its website called Local Favorites. It allows you to find out what movies people in a specific area are renting more often than other areas. For example, I learned that New York City is doing everything it can to perpetuate the cliche of its high-falootinness - their list is populated with a ton of foreign films and an 8-disc PBS documentary about, well, New York (which I have admittedly seen and enjoyed). Washington D.C. is striving to learn more about itself: it has The War Room and two seasons of The West Wing on its list. New Orleans is apparently trying to make itself feel better by comparison with films such as Million Dollar Baby, Born Into Brothels and Hotel Rwanda.
But of course my main concern was what my neighbors are watching. I'm concerned.
There's very little rhyme or reason to it. Direct-to-video is apparently a big draw in this area, with such doozies as Blast! (trivia: it's Shaggy's acting debut), Dirty Shield (Netlifx reviewr kf says "This is what happens if you give 3 buzzed Junior High guys a camcorder."), and Death to the Supermodels (IMDb featured quote: "My booty's been poisoned. Somebody's trying to kill my booty!").
We get a twofer of comic book adaptations in Blade (Snipes+Kristofferson=gold) and The Punisher (that it was mostly filmed in the area doesn't make the tagline - The Punishment Begins April 16, 2004 - any less self-fulfilling).
Toss in a Cirque du Soleil video (a live-only experience, I'd imagine) and a grossly overrated Oscar winner (yeah, I know - that link could lead to most any recent Best Picture winner), and you've got a list that's making me not want to leave the house, save maybe to move.
Maybe one day I'll produce my list of movies rented on Netflix and give everyone a chance to tear into my taste in movies. I promise you Shaggy's not in any of them.
Posted by Joel at 12/10/2005 11:36:00 PM
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