Thursday, March 02, 2006

No more posts here - please visit new blog

I still have a couple of stragglers, so I've dropped the coy act.

Please click here to visit new blog.

In Theory

And no, I'm not at all bothered that this sounds like begging.

Posted by Joel at 3/02/2006 05:17:00 PM |

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Just in case I wasn't clear

New blog: In Theory

Posted by Joel at 2/12/2006 11:06:00 PM |

Friday, February 10, 2006


It was something like peer pressure that brought me to this blogging notion in the first place. We'll call it the same thing that has now driven me from Blogger.

I won't speak ill of Blogger. Save for all those obnoxious spam blogs and limitations that you can't be too upset with as part of a free service, this beginner enjoyed his time. I dare say that Blogger's ease of use hooked me enough to leave me wanting more. So it goes.

If anyone wants to see what happens next, follow me.

Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks

Rilo Kiley, "It's a Hit"

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Posted by Joel at 2/10/2006 01:50:00 AM |

Monday, February 06, 2006

More reasons not to breed

While my quest for a domain name grows ever hopeless, I fortunately did find proof that my problems could be much worse.

I could have a child attending the school run by this administrator.

Thanks to Kate for putting things into perspective.

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Posted by Joel at 2/06/2006 07:16:00 PM |

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Three cheers for teachers and not breeding

Do you remember those elementary school days when you'd take some Vicks VapoRub to school and rub it all over yourself and others?

Neither do I. But that's precisely what happen at the school where my wife teaches.

Fortunately it wasn't her class. I guess kindergarteners still enjoy the more innocent pleasures of biting - that happened two weeks ago during a field trip to Chuck E Cheese's. A girl bit another girl through two shirts and still broke skin.

Oh, that's why I have no interest in children. If I thought they were cute or something I guess it would balance out in the end, but mostly I find them gross and not terribly bright. I've been told that my patience and even temper are ideal for raising children, but I'm fairly certain it takes more than that. It's possible that I'd learn to love one if it were mine, but that seems an pretty selfish risk to take if I turn out to be every bit the pedophobe I am now.

Considering my wife lacks some of that patience and temperament I am continually in amazement that she's managed to do the teaching thing for this long and actually enjoy it on some days. I'd simply never make it.

Then again I have to deal with people like this and this. I guess when the helpless person is technically an adult, and you're only indirectly responsible for their education, you don't feel at all responsible for them if they just can't function.

And so concludes today's misanthropy.

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Posted by Joel at 2/04/2006 06:44:00 PM |

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Hockey for dummies

Anyone else bored of the Super Bowl hype? If only one of the players had some sort of connection to the host city of Detroit.


Let's find something else to satisfy the sports jones.

How does the National Lacrosse League sound? And should you be thinking that this must be a new thing, check out the logo on the top-right corner of the homepage - this season is its 20th.

All the trappings of a big-time professional sports league are there: big trades (I guess it's big), licensed merchandise, even fantasy leagues.

I caught a few minutes of a last place battle between the Edmonton Rush and the Toronto Rock - the commentary could become quite disorienting when you thought you were watching a grudge match between a right-wing radio host and a superstar professional wrestler. The arena where the game took place seemed to be pretty full. There were a lot of fans wearing that licensed merchandise.

There were two things that I found much too distracting. Both teams sported the dreaded singular team name; in fact over half of the league's 11 teams feature such awkard names (along with the Rush and the Rock we have the Sting, Mammoth, Swarm, Stealth, and to a lesser extent the Lumberjax - yes, with an x).

But the death knell for the NLL has to be its relative similarity to the NHL. Perhaps I need a better idea of the rules and strategy, but to me - a big NHL fan - I found the action to be like hockey for those with special needs. The shorts make the whole thing seem very cheap. One look at the ogreish goalies and you'll wonder why we ever thought goalie equipment in the NHL got too big.

Now imagine it all for the countless people who find nothing entertaining about hockey.

But look out! It looks like professional lacrosse is all the rage (can't believe that's not a team name yet). The NLL has some competition in the form of Major League Lacrosse (singular name count 4 out of 10 - Pride, Barrage, Machine, Riptide), established in 2001. The NLL features both Canadian and US teams - the MLL is pure red white and blue (Rochester and Philadelphia have the pleasure of being two lacross team cities).

Maybe one of these leagues needs Jerry Porter to perk things up.

Maybe I'll just wait for March Madness.

More of the same:

Posted by Joel at 2/02/2006 10:37:00 PM |


And just when I was starting to warm up to the idea of a

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Posted by Joel at 2/02/2006 10:34:00 PM |

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

For shame

Just when I start tossing compliments around about Jim Davis' campaign staff, they disappoint me severely with their lack of Simpsons knowledge. I know you guys are busy, but might I suggest a viewing party?

The ultimate question: did Congressman Davis get it?

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Posted by Joel at 2/01/2006 11:09:00 PM |

Cab Calloway, animal droppings and public transport

Merriam-Webster provides three definitions for the word
  1. to go away quickly
  2. an animal fecal dropping
  3. jazz singing with nonsense syllables
Do any of these definitions inspire confidence in a mass transit system? It seems that four public transportation systems in this country - South County and South Coast in California, Suffolk in New York and Sarasota in Florida think so, or at least didn't know to ask. All four utilize the acronym SCAT to varying degrees (Sarasota, where I first noticed the troubling acronym, puts it on the side of their buses with the logo above).

Perhaps these organizations had the first definition in mind, though I highly doubt it. Considering the purpose of public transport, it's disconcerting that the definition does not allow for coming back quickly or at any other rate of speed. There's also the fact that the most common connotation of that particular definition is something you'd yell at a bothersome cat, which I'd imagine is where the animal droppings come into play. Maybe they were hoping to score Cab Calloway to promote their services. After all, the kids love Minnie the Moocher.

With the exception of South Coast, where the S and C are both part of the name, these organizations may want to consider dropping the word
county from their names - not only would they avoid the fecal acronym but they'd be describing an activity customers could enjoy while riding.

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Posted by Joel at 2/01/2006 08:09:00 PM |

Bush: "I said what?"

Drunk on power and the adulation of countless standing ovations, President Bush made some startling statements in last night's State of the Union address.

This afternoon Bush awoke to a debilitating hangover made worse by his staff's reading of the speech to him.

"I said what?" the President asked as he shuffled around the room switching off all the lights.

Bush was surprised to hear that he again pushed for Social Security reform, a goal from his last address that failed to gain any momentum.

"Geez, I didn't know I was still thinking about that."

A quote from his points on Iraq was particularly alarming.

The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else.

At that point Bush simply groaned and asked if anyone had any aspirin.

When told of his comments about a need for energy independence through alternative sources, Bush chuckled slightly. "I actually remember that one. Not bad, huh?"

Bush finally waived away his staff, save for Karl Rove, upon hearing of his call for restrained spending. He pulled Rove aside and asked quietly, "Are people actually going to expect this stuff?"

Rove replied assertively, "The spin is happening as we speak, Mr. President; no need to worry." Bush asked Rove to keep his voice down.

As Rove headed towards the door Bush smiled slightly. "I guess it could be worse; we could be heading into an election year."

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Posted by Joel at 2/01/2006 02:52:00 PM |

Pazz and Jop 2005

It wasn't that good a book anyway.

One of my favorite times of year - the potential of some CD binging thanks to the good folks at the Village Voice. Their latest edition of Pazz and Jop, an annual survey of numerous popular music critics, is here.

In the past I made reference to the only passing interest I take in the Voice's movie survey. But Pazz and Jop has provided many recommendations that have proven most successful.

The survey also has the advantage of being attached to Voice head music critic Robert Christgau. My boss introduced me to his Consumer Guides a few years back, and I've been hooked since. Sure his prose is every bit as impenetrable as J. Hoberman's, Voice head movie critic; at the very least when I have the patience to pick through the prose I find some pretty handy album suggestions. And when I say album suggestions, I stress album. The guy has managed to remain quite relevant even in his old age - you have to dig a geezer that can dig Eminem - but his love of the album form definitely seems dated in the age of the iPod. I for one dig the album just fine - and some Eminem - so that's why his Dean's List is normally an even better source for new music.

For the second year in a row Kanye West takes top album honors home - the only other artist to accomplish that in the history of the poll is The Clash (The Clash and London Calling). The punks might have a hard time hearing their heroes mentioned along with Mr. West, but considering the Clash really did only make three great albums (Give 'Em Enough Rope is underrated - sorry, Sandinista fans) Kanye is not that far away even if this is all he ever does.

The College Dropout
might even have a little bit in common with London Calling - both were albums introduced to a genres that were very single-powered. Sure, Kanye had "Jesus Walks" and more recently "Gold Digger" but the ridiculous staying power of both West albums has been a direct result of deep albums with plenty of singles material. Then people bought and realized that all the songs actually made some sense together. Heck the collection of songs even created a greater whole, which explains the anomaly of a strong selling, critically revered rap album.

Toss last year's American Idiot into the mix and there's proof that maybe the album isn't quite ready to go follow VHS to obsolescence. So check out Pazz and Jop 2005 - or even the complete archive of past polls and other Christgau reviews - to find a long-play to suit your taste.

Or I guess you could check out the 100 Greatest Guitar Solos, but you know how I feel about that sort of thing.

Enough to make a butcher out of bone
Take a walk in the park?
Sh-t yeah!

Sonic Youth, "Eliminator Jr."

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Posted by Joel at 2/01/2006 01:31:00 AM |