Sunday, October 30, 2005




Priorities

Here is a sampling of the options I had for my Saturday night:

1. Drive-By Truckers concert at Jannus Landing. After I whined about the live music events in the Bay area, this was the obvious plan, particularly since I had already missed a chance to see these guys here once. The one caveat was that I would likely be going on my own, as the one friend I have that digs the alt-country was playing at #2.

2. Guavaween. It's sad to say for someone who tries to sing the praises of this town, but I've never been to Guavaween. It took me eight years before I went to Gasparilla (I've never been to the Florida State Fair or the Strawberry Festival. Do I actually live here?). The fact is, folks, that I am not the parade type. Public drunkenness is not my thing, and if I was really that hard-up for inebriated breasts, I'd buy a Girls Gone Wild video (link not included for good reason).

3. Ceviche's with my wife and friends. One of my friends was taking the EIT exam that morning - a brutal 8-hours of all things engineering. She knew ahead of time that she would want to do something to celebrate afterwards, but she knew the early start of the test would probably keep her from having any Guavaween-type fun. So she had asked my wife and I if we wanted to join her and her boyfriend at Ceviche's for some lovely tapas and sangria.

So come Saturday, it came down to 1 and 3. Music or food? Anyone that knows me knows how trying a choice this is. But it came down to one thing and one thing only - friends. Call me a sap, but I will probably make the same choice every time.

And as it turned out, it was a wonderful evening. But then again, it's Ceviche's; how could it not be wonderful?

Highlights: after paying the bill we all headed to the restroom. We had been sitting in the back of the restaurant, although in a restaurant that is simply a hole in the wall of a condominium building, it's hard to identify a back. And yet we quickly appreciated the location of our table, because as we made our way forward to the restrooms, we were engulfed in a peculiar odor. I'm glad we didn't order that. It turns out that a heavily coiffed woman had caught her hair on fire.

After that, we took a wonderful stroll along Bayshore Boulevard. How can you not love Tampa taking that walk? For anyone who was out at Guavaween and not too drunk to notice, the weather was perfect. Save the occasional waft of high-bacteria levels off the Bay, nothing could break our spirits.

So I'm marking my calendar for Guavaween 2006. As for the Truckers, well, hopefully they continue to be the hard-touring group they have been to this point. But I have no regrets - the friends come first.


I met a Christian in Christiansands
And a devil in Helsinki

- Tricky, "Christiansands"


Posted by Joel at 10/30/2005 10:32:00 PM |

Friday, October 28, 2005




I know that guy!

So the battle of the pat-downs is temporarily over. The judge has ruled that the pat-downs at Ray-Jay are not warranted because of any potential terrorism. I'm not sure exactly what a swipe of the hands across the sides of a person was going to find. If we're really this concerned, it might be time to consider metal detectors. Just about every museum and other attraction I visited while I was in Europe had them, and not once did I feel like my privacy was being invaded.

I really have nothing new to bring to this story, but I do feel like I have a personal connection to it. Gordon Johnston, the man who along with the ACLU brought the lawsuit against the Tampa Sports Authority, happens to have been my high school AP US History teacher! I was his teacher's aide during my senior year as well. Even then you could see his belief in strong civil liberties - we spent many days in that class playing Twister. He was also the first person I ever heard tell this joke:

Johnston: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Class (begrudginly): What?
Johnstons: 'El-eph-i-no!
Class: Where's the Twister mat?

Don't look too hard; there's a joke in there somewhere, but it's not worth it.

He was a pretty decent guy, though. His wife was a fantastic math teacher. That's all I've got.


Posted by Joel at 10/28/2005 02:55:00 AM |

Thursday, October 27, 2005




The White House - Picking the wrong battles since 2000 (at least)

I just posted, but I couldn't resist this great bit of ridiculousness. So the White House is apparently not happy with The Onion, the satirical newspaper (available both online and in print), for using the official White House seal on their website. Now, I know you guys are a little uptight with all the, well, everything going on right now; is this really necessary? The White House is apparently saying that they can't pick and choose when to enforce these rules. So then why start now? Saturday Night Live has opened pretty much every Presidential address skit in their existence with a shot of the Presidential seal.

I have nothing more to say.

Well, except maybe this:



Posted by Joel at 10/27/2005 12:27:00 AM |

Wednesday, October 26, 2005




North vs. South, plus industrial

Every day I wake up to the inescapable reality that I live in New Tampa. In the day to day, there's not much to complain about - while Bruce B Downs is quite a pill to drive at 9 AM or 6 PM, I am under no delusions that South Tampa is much easier. But try to enjoy a relaxing dinner out and the sheer unexceptionality of this part of town hits you over the head like a glob of grey mush.

Some night last week - the routine of the evening has rendered all details obscure and obsolete - my wife and I joined the masses headed north on Bruce B Downs towards the Mason-Dixon Taste Line - there are good places to be found on BBD, but for God's sake don't go looking for them north of I-75. I suddenly experienced a feeling of abject boredom at the prospect of eating at the same place again. Even if it meant the possibility of eating the same exact meal being tolerated by millions across the nation, I needed novelty. A quick inventory of the establishments ahead of me lead me to realize that my only option was Lee Roy Selmon's. Oh God.

The food wasn't bad. In fact I dare say that some of it bordered on exotic for a Caribbean-born person like myself. I just wish they'd rename the place Comfort and be done with it, maybe include a pair of sweatpants with extra-stretch elastic at the door as well. But as usual with New Tampa, the Hollister parade inside was nauseating. I took my feed-bag of leftovers and left only partially satiated.

This past Saturday the wife and I again were looking for a good dinner, but man was the Downs not going to be enough. Most of the time I feel guilty for driving 15 minutes for dinner, but there was no way I was going to shovel corporate food down my throat. So off we went to Cappy's, after some issues with getting off I-275 - the remarkably quick construction on there did cause the temporary closure of the Ashley exit.

Alright, so South Tampa folk can be equally nauseating. But at least their nausea has color. And I don't mean yell "welcome to Moe's!" color. Cappy's is as simple and lo-fi as it gets: hole in the wall; no credit cards; soggy Trivial Pursuit cards on the tables; menus printed on laminated LP covers that feature nothing more than pizza (NY or Chicago style), calzones, breadsticks and Greek salad; a piece of Dubble Bubble with your check. God bless the place. The pizza itself is fantastic if you enjoy a nice greasy slice of pie. And I'm always happy with a pizza place that serves breadsticks that aren't just de-pizza'ed crust pieces. I particularly enjoy the fact that it's one of the few places I've ever been in the general Hyde Park/SoHo area where there's actual proof that people there have children. And yet you can still toss in the usual emo people and other such common sights.

In particular my favorite table was occupied by two mid-30's guys, probably Bucs season-ticket holders, probably go to the Hard Rock Casino way too often, definitely don't drink good beer. They were enventually joined by two women, International Plaza casualties. The conversation was predictable drunken-jolly, but I was predictably enthralled. Eventually I gathered that Cappy's was a pre-concert stop for them. And then I came to realize that they were headed to the Nine Inch Nails (sorry for the capitalization - I'd do it to E. E. Cummings too) concert.

Then I realized that The Downward Spiral was released in 1994. That gives college fans of Trent Reznor plenty of time to become mid-30's sociables in Eddie Bauer jeans. How the lowly have risen. Or something like that. I'm not sure that Mr. Reznor's particular brand of sulk-core is appealing to today's angst-ridden, so I wonder how he feels about his audience today.

That reminds me, I've been meaning to give NIN a chance. I was busy listening to oldies and ska when they were doing their thing. It would make for great parking-lot drive-by music around the strip malls of New Tampa.


You're going to get what you deserve

- Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like a Hole"


Posted by Joel at 10/26/2005 10:06:00 PM |

Tuesday, October 25, 2005




All cars, be advised, there's something to do

When anyone asks me to describe the City of Temple Terrace to them (and if I had a nickel for every time this came up, man am I broke), I usually recall a time when I was riding my bicycle near River Hills Elementary (admittedly, T.T. is great for bike-riding). I rode by a house where a man was on top of a ladder, trimming branches on a large oak tree. Below was what I surmised to be his wife, son and daughter, watching him trim said branches. I rode on, thinking nothing of it. About a half-hour later I rode past the same house and found the scene exactly as I had left it, only with a few more branches on the ground. "Hey, honey, wanna bring the kids out for trimming?"

That's what made this blotter entry in the Times amusing. A shooting! I didn't know Temple Terrace Police were allowed to do anything apart from traffic stops. Guess how this incident started?

On a different note, I'd like to thank Rachel* for posting my first ever comment that wasn't spam! And an amusing post at that. Next stop: first hate comment. Maybe today's ode to Temple Terrace and their police force will help.


By the next sunset
I had eloped with Marilee

- Drive-By Truckers, "My Sweet Annette"


Posted by Joel at 10/25/2005 11:54:00 PM |

Monday, October 24, 2005




Right hand, left hand; left hand, right hand

So I checked out what the word perjury means on Merriam-Webster's free online dictionary. Here's what I found:

1. the voluntary violation of an oath or vow either by swearing to what is untrue or by omission to do what has been promised under oath
2. false swearing

Now that we've established the definition of perjury, it seems like we may have some disagreement on the severity of this particular crime. Consider the following quotes surrounding the impeachment trial of President Clinton (thank you, CNN):

"I cannot trust him again. Today, we are engaged in war in the Persian Gulf. I was assured by Secretary Cohen and by the director of our Central Intelligence Agency that the timing was justified. Those are honorable men. And because of their testimony, I believe the timing was justified. But I do not believe it was justified because of what President Clinton has said, because I can no longer believe him."
-- Rep. Tom Campbell (R-California)

"What we say here today will be but paragraphs perhaps even footnotes in the pages of history to be written by those to come. What we do here will be indelibly printed on the American tradition. Let not this House grant a pardon to the president for his criminal offenses. Let not history look back on this day and say there, on that date, America surrendered the rule of law."
-- Rep. Kenny Hulshof (R-Missouri)

"It's not a question of sex. Sexual misconduct and adultery are private acts and are none of Congress' business. It's not even lying about sex. The matter before the House is a question of lying under oath."
-- Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Illinios)

"I believe perjury does meet at least the definition of high misdemeanor. In my mind, it certainly meets the measure of high crime."
-- Rep. Nancy Johnson (R-Connecticut)


Heavy stuff. And now...:

"... if there is going to be an indictment that says something happened, that it is an indictment on a crime and not some perjury technicality where they couldn't indict on the crime and so they go to something just to show that their two years of investigation was not a waste of time and taxpayer dollars."
-- Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas)

First Harriet Miers, then this outstanding attempt at spin - this is what happens when they let our elected officials actually make decisions. Karl Rove is obviously pretty distracted by this whole investigation. Hey, Karl, pay attention - you'd better get the keys back from Junior, his leadership is showing.


The country is not stupid
Even though it's silent
It still has eyes and ears
It just can't find its mouth

- Jon Langford, "Constanz"


Posted by Joel at 10/24/2005 11:38:00 PM |




Tampa still clover-shaped for now

So I wake up this morning (maybe closer to the afternoon - hey, it's a day off!) to some pretty fantastic weather. There was some strong rain overnight, but right now, just past noon, the skies are fairly clear, the wind is merely a stiff breeze, and most important, our temperature is sitting around the mid-60's.

The immediate impression from Wilma is that the Keys were hit pretty hard. The Dry Tortugas had some of the highest recorded gusts. Power outages span the entire Keys. Flooding was a pretty big issue. You hope that the slow pace of Wilma gave everyone ample time to get out of that area. And while I'm still not buying the idea that Katrina was a state and local issue alone, it was nice to hear this morning that Hillsborough County is already putting together a team of first responders to head to the hardest-hit areas.

Coming to the rescue has been a common role for our first responders. Although most forecasts had predicted landfall precisely where Wilma did strike, you can't help but think that the Tampa Bay area has dodged another one. Katrina, Rita, and Wilma all had the beginnings of the scenario that this area most fears. A storm gaining strength in the Gulf of Mexico, which is pretty much crack for hurricanes, subjecting this area to a direct hit is an event for which area emergency response teams must be ready. The Tampa Tribune recently put together a pretty impressive story (that's right - the Trib did something), showing us what could happen if that scenario occured. Maybe we can start with moving Tampa General.

Ask any meteorologist that has been involved in the forecasting of this hurricane season, and they'll tell you that they were at a loss sometimes. Hugo and Andrew, the two worst storms to hit the U.S. before Katrina, both tracked the same way: small blob develops off the coast of Africa, slowly strengthens as it meanders across the Caribbean. Now we have Katrina, Rita and Wilma, which strengthened in a day or two what took Andrew about a week. Whether you blame global warming or simple, cyclical climate change, the rules of hurricanes are changing dramatically. The Gulf of Mexico will probably keep churning out several monsters every hurricane season. With that come more chances for the Bay Area to suffer that worst-case scenario. Hopefully all those that experienced the worst of poor planning this season won't have suffered in vain.

But for now I will leave the Chicken Little act and enjoy our good fortunes. And our cool weather. God bless the cool weather.


Posted by Joel at 10/24/2005 12:21:00 PM |

Sunday, October 23, 2005




HTFU

I really wish Wilma would just make landfall already. Maybe my eagerness is most apparent because it doesn't have to break through as much anxiety as it does for those in South Florida. It just seems to me like we've known this thing was going to hit exactly where it's going for the last several months (kudos to the forecasters that have been pretty solid on the track of this storm, even if the timing has been difficult to predict). It's certainly disconcerting that with every hour past, Wilma doesn't seem to be weakening like everyone thought. Hopefully everyone has taken advantage of the lengthy preparation time and is ready for whatever happens.

Fortunately SW Florida is fairly unpopulated between the Keys and the Naples area - it's mostly Everglades. And as we learned from Katrina, those wetlands are essential to preventing flooding. That's yet another example of why we shouldn't crap all over our environment. Want another? It's hard to imagine how man's impact on our environment could make an earthquake worst, but here's how.

These commercials for the Christian Children's Fund are something else. Surely you're not an evil, soulless being to deny this sad child a life. Don't change that channel. Get on the phone, call this number, then go out and sell your telephone and television so you can sponsor more children. You selfish ogre! Swine! Why are you still watching me exploit the misery of these children?

I need to stop watching TV this late.


Lies and betrayal
Fruit-covered nails
Electricity and lust
Won't break the door

- Pavement, "Trigger Cut"


Posted by Joel at 10/23/2005 10:42:00 PM |

Thursday, October 20, 2005




Higher education at always low prices

I couldn't study - I was too busy whistling and slashing prices.
Photo courtesy of Columbia Daily Tribune

I don't really want to beat that proverbial dead horse - I think he's starting to smell - but I simply could not ignore this story. Apparently the granddaughter of one of Wal-Mart's co-founders paid a college roommate $20,000 to do some of her work while attending the University of Southern California. After much investigation, she has given up her diploma.

Quick, use the name Paris Hilton in the same sentence as the word "achievement" and try not to laugh - times she did it in one day doesn't count. No, Elizabeth Paige Laurie probably does not have any use for a college degree. She has countless money coming her way, as well as those stunning, how-do-you-spell-rich good looks. Plus, I seriously doubt any Wal-Mart shopper will reconsider where to buy their out-sourced merchandise after hearing about this. Heck, she went to USC - that there's a liberal college!

My joy upon reading this story was derived from the notion that this Elena Martinez squeezed $20,000 out of this girl. Someone managed to exploit Wal-Mart! And a minority, no less! That, and her name has been taken off the University of Missouri's sports arena. Now if we can just get Paris Hilton's name taken off, well, everywhere.

I enjoy symmetry. Let's end this with another smiling doofus.


Photo courtesy of AP (Yahoo!)

I think he was trying to come off as a nice guy by smiling wide in his booking photo. Sorry, Tom - now you're just the creepy real estate agent of the month. Is it me, or did he wear make-up?



Say a prayer
For you and me
Say a prayer
Tell me do you miss me

- Luna, "23 Minutes into Brussels"


Posted by Joel at 10/20/2005 10:24:00 PM |

Tuesday, October 18, 2005




An Irish man in desperate need of a beer

There are really only two conclusions I can draw from Bill O'Reilly's appearance on The Daily Show:

1. O'Reilly is the single most humorless person in media, and at least the fourth most humorless person on FoxNews (seriously, what's wrong with Brit Hume's mouth?).

2. He simply cannot drop the righteous truthmonger act, and in fact only chose to appear on the show to show America that he is the only one who truly cares about our terrible plight.

Oh, wait, I forgot my other conclusion:

3. He's just not getting enough phone sex lately.

It's probably an even combination of all three.

What was so wonderfully bizarre about the train wreck of an "interview" is that everyone is going to claim victory. Fans of Stewart will have their opinion of O'Reilly and his ilk solidified: self-righteous, self-important, humorless blowhard who are too busy with their heads so far up the White House's plumbing that they don't realize that our great nation is in trouble. Fans of O'Reilly will have their opinion of Stewart and his ilk solidified: America-hating, immature, clueless liberal babies who are to busy getting high and giggling to realize that our great nation is in trouble. Well at least they have that.

Doesn't O'Reilly know Irish guys are supposed to be fun-loving drunks? It's Stewart's people who are supposed to be all buzzkill. Oh, that's right, our way of life is being threatened every day. How dare we laugh at this time of crisis? I mean, what with a Democratic majority in Congress, a pinko commie in the White House - I'm not sure we're going to make it.

Guess which show I watch more often.


These times are troubled, these times are rough
There's more to come but you can't give up
Why don't you shake a tail for peace and love
Move it up one time
For love

- Sleater-Kinney, "Step Aside"


Posted by Joel at 10/18/2005 11:23:00 PM |

Monday, October 17, 2005




Wal-Mart is out to get me

The world's largest retailer is a living, snarling predator, and it is seeking to take me in its sharp, menacing jaws and clamp down on my throat, bleeding me to death in order to devour me. Hyperbole is the best thing ever. What did I, a lone, nasal voice with a humble blog read mostly by the blogger himself, do to deserve such treatment?

Alright, so maybe I've spent a lot of time proclaiming its evils. A lot of time. I have a feeling that when I find myself in the company of two or more people I had not met before, and said company is later discussing the events of the day, upon reaching the point of the day in which they met me, they will say, "Dude, what did Wal-Mart ever do to that guy?"

- I went in one night (admittedly slightly late, but 11 PM doesn't seem so late to a store open 24 hours) to get a copy of a key. I walked counter where the key-copying machine was located, but there was no associate there. I walked around the department, but still no help. Finally I made my way back to the counter, where there was now an employee. I asked about key-copying as I placed my key on the counter. The employee looked at it, apparently stupefied by its very keyness. He not so politely explained that he didn't know how to use the machine. He was at least bright enough to know what I was going to ask next before I got the chance, explaining that he didn't think anyone who did know how to use the machine was in at the moment.

- The same night, I was trying to buy some deodorant. After I found the brand I wanted in the shopping cart sitting in front of the deodorant, I headed to the registers. I thought they were registers. I walked to the cashier that didn't have 10 people in line. The woman at the register looked at the lone item in my hand, took the drawer out of her register and walked away. I backed away and looked at the now only available register, looking more and more like a Soviet bread line. I turned around and saw a woman standing at that goofy podium thing in the middle of the register area. I was about to ask if there was somewhere else that I could go to pay for my deodorant, but I suddenly shivered at the thought that she might suggest the counter where the key-copying takes place. I decided I was better off alienating anyone with whom I came in contact with my offensive odor.

- My wife was under the weather, so I thought I was doing a good thing by going to Wal-Mart for the things I needed to bring home. One stop, no hassle, no problem. After already having retrieved the tissues and heating pad, I headed to the food aisles for a couple of cans of beef broth (she doesn't like chicken soup). The cans were on the top shelf. I reached up with my left hand and gripped two stacked cans. As I brought them down to my cart, I was attacked by 10 or so other cans. Apparently the cans were so badly dented from other attacks on helpless shoppers that they would not stack properly. The screaming child in the aisle gave me a dirty look.

(I have given only the highlights, as there are plenty of example. Even my wife, a sometimes Wal-Mart supporter, has admitted that I am a magnet for trouble at that place)

Yes, I know, why do I keep going in there? Well not unlike Survivor, death and indigestion at Krystal restaurants, Wal-Mart at times seems practically unavoidable. And besides, who would the ghost of Sam Walton haunt if I never set foot in a store again? No, I think my curiosity is much too morbid to stop now. What can happen next? Perhaps that smiley face won't stop at slashing prices.

I must admit that I am not completely averse to the big box store either. While some may not see the difference (and they're right to a point), I love the Target. I recently purchased season 2 of Arrested Development for the very low price of $27.99. That show is by far the greatest thing Ron Howard has ever had any part in creating.


Gonna find my baby
Gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight

- The Starland Vocal Band, "Afternoon Delight"


Posted by Joel at 10/17/2005 10:39:00 PM |

Wednesday, October 12, 2005




I really don't have much to say. I'll let the sign say it all, whatever that is exactly. This is in London, in case anyone is curious.















It's gonna rain champagne
And the hills are gonna dance
There will be power in the blood
When that helicopter comes

- The Handsome Family, "When That Helicopter Comes"


Posted by Joel at 10/12/2005 11:38:00 PM |

Sunday, October 09, 2005




Rock me all night (or at least until 11)

I've read in several interviews that Liz Phair suffered from fairly crippling stage fright early in her career. Based on the show she put on Saturday night at Jannus Landing, I have a hard time believing it. I can't remember another artist being this comfortable with an audience. It's pretty difficult to come up with another explanation for opening a show with 3 solo acoustic songs, unless of course that's your thing. If she were a can't miss artist with legions of fans, she could probably open with a xylophone solo and everyone would follow. But this is a singer that's been fighting backlash from her unjustly infamous self-titled album of a couple of years ago. But I am happy to report that 1) there are obviously still plenty of people who see her for the fantastic songwriter she is, and 2) she's obviously having more fun than ever.

Despite the fun of the acoustic opening, it was when the band came out that the fun really began. Alright, so she's no guitar hero - she held the guitar vertically by the neck during "Rock Me," and during another song when a string broke, the seconds it took to change guitars sounded no different. But she has quite the magnetic stage presence: taking votes on what song to play, banter that never felt forced, smiling almost constantly.

I'm also happy to report that those "sell-out" songs held their own alongside songs from Exile in Guyville, despite the absence of most of that dreaded studio flash. Nevertheless, the best moment did come from that first album. "Divorce Song" has always been one of my favorites from Exile, but I wondered how it would come off in the jolly spirit of the evening. But the performance was not jarring - in fact, a slight change of pacing and tone to the music turned it into a completely different yet still fantastic song, even allowing for a small jam session for the talented band where the harmonica solo usually is.

A brief word about Liz' opening act, Matt Pond PA. There are two things you should be aware of with these guys: 1) they have a cellist, and 2) Entertainment Weekly describes their music as something you listen to "while looking at a picture of your ex." Take that information and use it
as you see fit.


It's nice to be liked
But it's better by far to get paid

- Liz Phair, "Sh*tloads of Money"


Posted by Joel at 10/09/2005 10:25:00 PM |

Saturday, October 08, 2005




Life CAN begin before noon

Let's keep adding strokes to my self-portrait as cranky snob, although I'm sure I'm not anywhere near alone on this one: going to the movies blows. Is it the prices? Is it the endless ads before the movie? Is it the perplexing lack of consideration on the part of your fellow moviegoer? Is it the actual films themselves?

Yes.

I've managed to find a way to alleviate at least a couple of those irritants. The Muvico Starlight 20 on Bruce B. Downs (I think all Muvicos as well) has pre-matinee showings starting at 10 AM on Saturdays, a dollar less even than student pricing. It's admittedly strange to be in a movie theatre when a lot of people haven't even woken up yet. But as long as you steer clear of the kiddie stuff (matinees are magnets for the rugrats), you'll be treated to a much more pleasant film experience, sharing the hall with just a few jaded individuals like myself and others who remember the days when people were just more polite. Was that too condescending a way to say old people?

My pre-matinee movie today was A History of Violence, which has been receiving some pretty high praise. Count me impressed.

I think I would actually like to see this movie in a packed theatre, perhaps both here and in the director's native Canada. I have a pretty distinct idea that the reactions to the film would be different. The title insinuates much more than the plot twist it foreshadows. David Cronenberg, who first made his name known in film by making a human head explode, is obviously speaking to a violent culture, possibly one not his own by birth (perhaps I'm being a bit prejudice, but I can't say that I know Canadian film for its visceral action). In the hands of anyone less adept, the film could have been a grandstanding morality tale or a mindless revenge tale. But try to find a message here and you will be left with disappointed contradiction. Cronenberg is much too smart for preaching, so he appeals to our proven desire for a bit of the old ultra-violence (it's probably no coincidence that he made a point to make this his most commercial movie since The Fly, even casting what passes for today's action start in Viggo Mortensen) and then dares us to point fingers. Cronenberg still manages to make subtle use of his knack for well-orchestrated mayhem and gooey gore, but the effect might be even more unsettling than any horror movie he could ever make (I haven't seen Crash, his other attempt at relatively human horror).

You could criticize Violence for being misanthropic, particularly in its baiting of the audience, making the sinister appealing by giving us two interesting, downright fun villains in Ed Harris and William Hurt.

You can see the movie fan in Cronenberg when watching this movie. There is a definite Western feel to much of its set pieces. The mob makes an appearance, and that plus the theme of family vs. famiglia demonstrate the still far-reaching influence of The Godfather. But the two films that came to mind the most while watching were A Simple Plan, Sam Raimi's own foray into more human issues than his usual slasher slapstick, and The Road to Perdition, another film about what violence does to family bonds (as well as also being based on a graphic novel). Thinking of that film is when Violence truly proves to be succcessful. Perdition was a movie made out of obvious talent, and yet the human element it tried so very hard to represent (why else cast Tom Hanks and Paul Newman?) often got lost behind the visual flair. As much fun as Cronenberg has making those action scenes, he balances the tone of the film perfectly by creating a family unit he obviously truly cares about. It is ultimately the scenes involving Mortensen's family that carry much more force than the neverthless shocking gunplay. He gives us characters with depth, but never sells out that depth for the sake of the violence. Instead the family is always the center of the film, the violence merely the intruder that nearly destroys it. Unlike the mindless body counts of so much of the summer fare we've been subjected to the last few months, every death that takes place on screen actually means something. But it's the aftermath of said deaths that stays with you long after the credits roll.


Posted by Joel at 10/08/2005 02:13:00 PM |




Time is leaving my side

25 is probably way too young to even begin to think about feeling old; and while I'd like to think I'm never going to be that person who has a breakdown with every new gray hair, I've had a couple of moments lately where I realized that I'm at least not as young as I used to think. Working on a university campus, I become more aware every day of the gap between me and these people who I swear have to be the same age as me. Several conversations of late have pressed upon me the fact that some of our student employees were newborns or less when I was starting elementary school. Particularly for someone who has always managed to be the baby in any group (youngest child, summer birthday that always put me a year behind during the school year), someone that has always gravitated to older people - heck, my wife is 2 months older - even those 5-6 years seem like several generations.

But nothing makes me feel older than what passes for popular music these days. No, I'm not still mourning Kurt Cobain. And there actually have been some popular things that I enjoy greatly - overplayed/overexposed or not, Kanye's great. Let's be more specific: what passes for rock these days. Honestly, Nirvana never interested me while they were alive and well - I was still knee-deep in the oldies I grew up with (what was I saying about gravitating to older people?). The first current music I can remember enjoying was the infamous third-wave ska craze of the late 90's. And while I don't necessarily look back on those days with great nostalgia - the plaid, thrift-store pants are long gone from the closet - I can at least say one thing for the whole ska thing: it was juvenile, but it was fun.

Supposedly when all the ska/punk kids grow up, they go emo. I guess the idea is that instead of growing up and turning into our parents, we just turn into blubbering goth-lites. I know, this is not the first time in music history that moping is the rule. But this is the first time I've been alive and aware of it, and it's a drag. But then I remember how moody I was in my teens, and I realize why My Chemical Romance and their ilk are scoring so large.

I try to keep an open mind about the whole thing. I perused through my CD collection and found traces of moodiness past. But I can't find any Joy Divisions these days - mostly just Cures and Smiths (yes, that's a bad thing). But is it possible that I'm just jaded to all this whining, thinking that it's somehow supposed to appeal to me. Am I forgetting about the age gap again? Is it just the music snobbery that allows me to see a difference between Ian Curtis and Chris Carrabba?

I'm still pretty sure most of them suck. My Chemical Romance in particular is just barely music. Is it the black-and-white tie or the make-up that's supposed to make me think these guys are dangerous/tortured? Despite the all too real tortured life, even Kurt Cobain managed a sense of humor, let alone actual melodies (well, Ian Curtis at least had melodies). But either way, I'm ready to embrace being not young. I'm going to enjoy Liz Phair tomorrow night. I think she's pushing 40, and at this point anyone who remembers her hates her for cheating on the indie world and going pop. To me it just sounds like she's matured and realized that she can still have fun even if life still is a mess. That's more like it.

Out on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins
Nature kids, I-they don't have no function
I don't understand what they mean
And I could really give a f***

- Pavement, "Range Life"


Posted by Joel at 10/08/2005 12:39:00 AM |

Thursday, October 06, 2005




Let's Go Lightning! (clap clap clap clap clap)

I've been on a sports bent of late - this should be it for a while. But I just simply could not go on without mentioning my favorite sports moment of the last few weeks. Better than the USF win, better than the 4-0 Bucs (or the 2-1 Dolphins) - yes, even better than the news of ownership change for the Devil Rays (which is still nevertheless fantastic).


Photo courtesy of the St. Petersburg Times

Yes, that's right, I still care about hockey. It's probably a lot easier for anyone to still care when you live in the city that last hosted the Stanley Cup. Who cares.

Last night was great. Beyond the banner raising, which basically boiled down to reading off a bunch of names not even the greatest of hockey fans could care about ("assistant equipment manager..."), it was great to see real live hockey again. If you ignored the sloppiness that understandably comes from a year away, the Bolts looked like the team that made so many new fans at the end of the 2003-2004 season. We even got a couple of glimpses of what the rule changes are going to do for the game. It's subtle now, but give everyone some time to get used to the idea of those home-run passes that were once two-line passes - it'll be nice to see some hockey highlights on ESPN again.

Or maybe on OLN. Sure, it's hard to get used to watching ANYTHING on OLN. Sure, hockey is still not ideal to watch on TV. Sure, Gary Bettman is still "running" the league. Sure, we beat the Carolina Hurricanes. I still don't care. Give me a choice between some of those dreadful Sunday night NFL games (it's a good thing Mexico City didn't seem to mind that we sent them our worst) and any hockey game and you can call me Canadian.

The Lightning seemed pretty bored/annoyed with the banner ceremony. Who can blame them? They've been hearing about the '03-'04 season for way too long now. They celebrated like kids at the post-playoff parade. But it's time to let the whole thing go. The Lightning now have as much claim to the Cup as the other teams in the league. This is what the guys have been waiting for all this time. As soon as that first puck dropped, you could see them having fun again. I had fun too (even if I couldn't be there - darned lottery). Welcome back, Bolts.

When Daddy comes home, you always start a fight
So the neighbors can dance in the police disco lights
The police disco lights
Now the neighbors can dance

- The Arcade Fire, "Neighborhood 2 (Laika)"


Posted by Joel at 10/06/2005 10:19:00 PM |

Saturday, October 01, 2005




End of game. Miami 27, USF 7. Proof that USF still isn't quite yet a permanent presence on the national scene, or more than likely proof that Mike Adamle is out of his league: the last mention of the score, "Miami 27, UFS 7." What can you say - the Joust this is not.

The guys at the ESPNU studios didn't impress me much either (and downright scared me at times), but they were dead on after the game. While the offense was overwhelmed by a Miami defense that could be top-10 by the end of the year, the defense gave fans a lot of good. While the early turnovers were more USF mistakes than Miami plays, there is no doubt that the complexity of the entire game would have been different without those early turnovers. Whether you're an up-and-comer or an established powerhouse, nothing will dig you a bigger hole than early turnovers.

One look at the rest of the Big East will tell you that it is absolutely not out of the question for USF to win the conference. Not counting the two teams that have yet to play a conference game, there are only 3 teams without a Big East loss. One of them is Rutgers. No offense to the rest of the Big East, but we will not play another team this season as good as Miami. Arguably, we will not play another team as good as Louisville either.

It will be interesting to see how the team reacts to this loss. We are blessed with a bye this upcoming week, followed by a road game at Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is a team in some trouble, but road games are always tough. Hopefully the extra week will give the team some time to correct some things, particularly the palpable tension between the receivers and Julmiste that seemed to manifest itself greatly at the end of tonight's game.

October 22 is homecoming, against West Virginia. That might be the Big East right there. As long as both teams can avoid pulling a Louisville this year (my own pick for a possible trap game for USF is Syracuse - they're bad, but the Carrier Dome is never a fun place to play), the winner of that game should have the upper hand in the conference. USF playing in a BCS bowl could do for the program what even a win against Miami tonight could not have done.

Hey, look at it this way: we looked better than the Gators did today.


Posted by Joel at 10/01/2005 11:32:00 PM |




End of the 3rd quarter. Miami 20, USF 0. Finally the commentators get something right by saying that the level of play dropped off severely in the 3rd. Tyrone Moss has run pretty well, but his yards have not been easy. I am very impressed that this defense is still playing this well. This should be nothing new for Tampa football fans: Cadillac Williams and this year's edition of the Buccaneers are not about to make anyone forget all those years when the Bucs defense made play after play, hoping against hope that the offense would wake up. Ricky Ponton has shown some shifty moves (mostly behind the line of scrimmage, unfortunately), and Amarri Jackson is a freshman. I hope a few of those recruits Jim Leavitt invited to the game last week were quarterbacks.


Posted by Joel at 10/01/2005 10:35:00 PM |




Halftime. Miami 20, USF 0. The Louisville game did a lot for USF, but one thing it did that wasn't mentioned (or even noticed in, I'm sure) is obscure what is probably USF's weakest area: the quarterback position. Ever since Marquel Blackwell graduated, USF has had a very hard time finding someone to consistently lead the offense. The best plays I can remember from a USF QB in the last two years came from Brian Fisher, who was a wide receiver occasionally moonlighting as a passer. Even then, most of those good plays came with Fisher's feet. Yes, USF scored 45 last week. But Pat Julmiste's claim on that victory? 4/9, 95 yards, no touchdowns (WR Amarri Jackson had the lone pass TD), 1 interception.

Sure, the wide receivers have again shown their propensity to drop the ball, but Julmiste's passes haven't exactly been dead on many times today. Those interceptions did not have much to do with great plays by Miami. While Courtney Denson did provide some much-needed scrambling ability, he looked much the same as Julmiste when he threw the ball. Yes, you can certainly chalk up some of that poor QB play to the fierce Miami pass rush, but you can turn that right back around and chalk up the pass rush to the big hole USF dug for itself with the turnovers.

The bright side (hard to find at 20-0): the defense. There is no way you can fault the defense for allowing 20 to Miami when the Canes' average starting position has been well into USF territory. You cannot be too upset with 183 total yards against the #9 team in the nation; especially consider that 58 of those yards came on the Greg Olsen pass play that went from touchdown to Bulls touchback thanks to Mike Jenkins' fantastic hustle play. And that's the most frustrating part of this game: Miami is not playing all that well. But USF's turnovers have been in much worse field position, and Miami's turnovers have not been converted into much of anything.

The other thing I've enjoyed: finally realizing why I recognized the voice of the ESPNU announcer. Mike Adamle used to do the commentary on American Gladiators! Too bad Adamle and Charles Arbuckle are pretty lousy. It's as if their view of the game is coming from a television with poor reception.

Finally, a Miami turnover in their own territory. And the most the Bulls can get out of it is a missed 47-yard field goal. Four takeaways, no points. Where's Amarri Jackson? Where's the creative play-calling? Is American Gladiators on?


Posted by Joel at 10/01/2005 09:32:00 PM |




5:13 left in the 1st quarter. Two USF possessions, two USF turnovers. You already get the sense that Tyrone Moss might wear out the Bulls defense by halftime. Hopefully we'll get a chance to see what Kyle Wright can do with a possession starting in his own territory. And now a penalty on the kickoff return. And now we can't even get the snap right! Coach Leavitt cannot be even remotely happy.


Posted by Joel at 10/01/2005 08:27:00 PM |




It's about a half an hour until the kickoff for USF in Miami against the Hurricanes. Fortunately ESPN has decided to give the local ABC affiliate the rights to air the game, unlike the Louisville game (thanks to the St. Pete Times for the story on that - I only wish I had read it sooner so I would have felt more compelled to actually go to the game). Last I checked the Bulls are underdogs by the same line as the Louisville game. Like Louisville last week, Miami is ranked #9. This time however the Bulls won't have a home crowd to lean on for momentum, although the Orange Bowl has never had the mystique of, say, The Swamp.

I'll come clean. I am a Miami fan. I grew up in Miami, so my first memories of football are of the Hurricanes back in the years when it was probably the most feared program in the nation. No, I'm not an alumni, and heck, I'm not even a huge fan of the city of Miami, but I still feel a certain amount of loyalty to the Canes.

But now I live in Tampa. I've been here from USF's infancy to its now promising adolescence. Until the schedule for this year was announced, despite the obvious stratospheric climb the Bulls have made in nine years, it had not occured to me that choosing sides would be something I'd be faced with.

It comes down to this: if Miami loses tonight, they'll recover. Three games this season have already shown to that this is a transition year for the Hurricanes. Kyle Wright, the freshman QB, has a fair amount of promise, but he definitely needs the experience this year. One or two years from now, Miami will be the its usual intimidating self, challenging for the ACC crown and possible more. And if they win, they will still have one conference loss, and they still have to play a scary Virginia Tech team later in the year.

If USF loses tonight, it may not be a surprise. But there is a lot at stake for USF to at least put up a good fight. Recruiting in the state of the Big Three is challenge, but a win against One of Three would almost certainly steal away some prized prospects. There is also the fan base that has begun to emerge this season. The Louisville game should be enough to keep a lot of fans for the future, but a lop-sided loss tonight might put the fluke word in people's minds. Yes, as long as they present a marginal struggle against Miami, momentum should carry over to the rest of the Big East schedule this year (remember, even if the Bulls lose tonight, they'll still be first in the conference). But a win? Oh, what a moment that would be.

My prediction: Miami 24, USF 13. But never have I been more hopeful of being wrong.

All my people that's drug dealin just to get by
Stack your money 'til it gets sky-high
We weren't s'posed to make it past twenty-five
The jokes on you, we still alive
Throw your hands up in the sky and say
We don't care what people say

- Kanye West, "We Don't Care"


Posted by Joel at 10/01/2005 07:17:00 PM |