Where breathing is a pleasure
I'm usually not one to medicate when not feeling well, but when I'm trying to sleep enough to hopefully feel better for work the next day I'll usually down something. Nyquil is officially right out; two nights ago confirmed what I had hoped was a fluke last time I used the stuff - that the only effect Nyquil has on me is leaving me wide awake in bed, wondering why I can't get that horrible taste out of my mouth.
My usual medicine of choice is Thera-Flu. I like drinking the hot liquids when I'm sick, and it does always manage to alleviate symptoms just enough to allow me to fall asleep.
Last night I went into the medicine cabinet in search of the Thera-Flu, but instead found the Publix brand equivalent - Maximum Strength Flu, Severe Cold & Congestion, Nighttime Formula.
Catchy.
I know plenty of people cannot stomach the taste of Thera-Flu. For some reason I not only don't mind it but find it oddly pleasing. Publix's FSCC tastes not unlike a six year old's chemistry-set-attempt at recreating the flavor of Thera-Flu.
You know what; cleverness can't save this one.
It tastes like butt.
And to further the damage, it did nothing to ameliorate my symptoms or make me drowsy. In fact I am pretty sure I felt worse, butt taste aside. But what else could I expect from a product that promises flu, severe cold and congestion?
Several lost hours and toohbrushings later I decided it was time for action. In the same cabinet was a bottle of codeine cough syrup my wife was prescribed several months ago. I didn't have a cough, but God bless codeine - I was out in no time.
This morning I woke up with maximum strength congestion, the type that feels like a Michael Bay movie in your sinuses. I was also feeling rather groggy, no doubt a codeine hangover. I decided to stay home, managed to spend most of the day staring at the wall.
I still have three Publix FSCC packets left and feel masochistically compelled to use them rather than throw them away. Perhaps it's out of fear that pilgrim salt and pepper shakers will come after me in my sleep. Good thing I won't be sleeping much tonight.
Mad man never go "pop" like snot bubbles
- Madvillain, "All Caps"
Posted by Joel at 12/29/2005 10:58:00 PM
« Home