Yes, there is a lot of talk about the entire Katrina situation these days. And yes, I do have an opinion on the whole thing. But I'm not sure that I can necessarily bring anything new to the table, so because I know the media is going to be all over this one for a while, I'm going to instead bring to light something that had until recently managed to escape my attention. I have asked myself this question several times the last few days without an answer, so I'm hoping that someone unlucky enough to stumble onto this page might be able to help me.
What is Nick Lachey doing on ESPN?
Allow me to specify that I know what he is doing for the cable sports channel. But seriously: WHAT is he DOING on ESPN? Yes, I will admit that I've never had any use for Newlyweds. I have never found Jessica Simpson attractive; yes, she has breasts 'til Reno, but her stupidity, whether a put-on or not, always manages to distract attention from any physical attributes that may otherwise stand out - except for maybe her man-face. As for Mr. Lachey, the worst I could say for him is that he is either extremely long-suffering or he has hearing problems, allowing him to better concentrate on other things that could be considered endearing about his spouse. But until now, neither of them had really, truly drawn my ire like, say, Roberto Benigni (wherever he went after walking over all those seats during the Oscars, may he never come back). As long as I avoided MTV (never difficult for me to do, save the occasional episode of Pimp My Ride) or flipped the channel as soon as an ad for The Dukes of Hazzard came on (stupid undercarriage line), I was safe.
Then he went a got a job with ESPN.
I'm not a total ESPN addict like some I know, but often when I am online, I do enjoy having Sportscenter in the background. And I do certainly watch an actual sporting event from time to time (although I'll be watching less since the NHL signed on with OLN - that's another perplexing topic). But most of all, it's nice to have ESPN on because save for the occasional pre-game or halftime extravaganza, I know that I am not going to have someone's supposed celebrity forced down my throat.
I understand that celebrity these days, particularly celebrity of the mostly talentless kind, requires a certain type of synergy to survive. This is nothing new. But normally marketing people are bright enough to keep people on a fairly level form of synergy. That's why even the ultimate of celebrity pimps Colonel Parker didn't put Elvis in On the Waterfront. Nick Lachey can make all the appaling reality shows and more appalling variety hours he wants. But what part of Mr. Lachey's resume qualifies him to do human-interest pieces on ESPN?
But maybe I'm not asking the right question. Perhaps the right question is, "What is ESPN doing with Nick Lachey?" I don't exactly watch ESPN to enjoy their contribution to the journalistic arts, but what is ESPN saying to their on-air personalities by hiring this guy? If he's dumb enough to marry Tuna Girl, then surely he can do your job. Maybe Trey Wingo was just hoping Jessica would visit the office a lot.
Julie Christie, the rumors are true
As the pages turn, my eyes are glued
To the movie star and his sordid life
Mr. X and his old-suffering wife
- Yo La Tengo, "Tom Courtenay"
Posted by Joel at 9/07/2005 12:55:00 AM
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