...Because everyone else has one

No more posts here - please visit new blog

2006-03-02T17:17:00.000-05:00

I still have a couple of stragglers, so I've dropped the coy act.

Please click here to visit new blog.

In Theory

And no, I'm not at all bothered that this sounds like begging.

Just in case I wasn't clear

2006-02-12T23:06:00.000-05:00

New blog: In Theory

Toodles

2006-02-10T01:50:00.000-05:00

It was something like peer pressure that brought me to this blogging notion in the first place. We'll call it the same thing that has now driven me from Blogger.

I won't speak ill of Blogger. Save for all those obnoxious spam blogs and limitations that you can't be too upset with as part of a free service, this beginner enjoyed his time. I dare say that Blogger's ease of use hooked me enough to leave me wanting more. So it goes.

If anyone wants to see what happens next, follow me.

Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks

- Rilo Kiley, "It's a Hit"

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BehindTheScenes

More reasons not to breed

2006-02-06T19:16:00.000-05:00

While my quest for a domain name grows ever hopeless, I fortunately did find proof that my problems could be much worse.

I could have a child attending the school run by this administrator.

Thanks to Kate for putting things into perspective.

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QuestionableBehavior

Three cheers for teachers and not breeding

2006-02-04T18:44:00.000-05:00

Do you remember those elementary school days when you'd take some Vicks VapoRub to school and rub it all over yourself and others?

Neither do I. But that's precisely what happen at the school where my wife teaches.

Fortunately it wasn't her class. I guess kindergarteners still enjoy the more innocent pleasures of biting - that happened two weeks ago during a field trip to Chuck E Cheese's. A girl bit another girl through two shirts and still broke skin.

Oh, that's why I have no interest in children. If I thought they were cute or something I guess it would balance out in the end, but mostly I find them gross and not terribly bright. I've been told that my patience and even temper are ideal for raising children, but I'm fairly certain it takes more than that. It's possible that I'd learn to love one if it were mine, but that seems an pretty selfish risk to take if I turn out to be every bit the pedophobe I am now.

Considering my wife lacks some of that patience and temperament I am continually in amazement that she's managed to do the teaching thing for this long and actually enjoy it on some days. I'd simply never make it.

Then again I have to deal with people like this and this. I guess when the helpless person is technically an adult, and you're only indirectly responsible for their education, you don't feel at all responsible for them if they just can't function.

And so concludes today's misanthropy.

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LifeOf

Hockey for dummies

2006-02-02T22:37:00.000-05:00

Anyone else bored of the Super Bowl hype? If only one of the players had some sort of connection to the host city of Detroit.

Oh.

Let's find something else to satisfy the sports jones.

How does the National Lacrosse League sound? And should you be thinking that this must be a new thing, check out the logo on the top-right corner of the homepage - this season is its 20th.

All the trappings of a big-time professional sports league are there: big trades (I guess it's big), licensed merchandise, even fantasy leagues.

I caught a few minutes of a last place battle between the Edmonton Rush and the Toronto Rock - the commentary could become quite disorienting when you thought you were watching a grudge match between a right-wing radio host and a superstar professional wrestler. The arena where the game took place seemed to be pretty full. There were a lot of fans wearing that licensed merchandise.

There were two things that I found much too distracting. Both teams sported the dreaded singular team name; in fact over half of the league's 11 teams feature such awkard names (along with the Rush and the Rock we have the Sting, Mammoth, Swarm, Stealth, and to a lesser extent the Lumberjax - yes, with an x).

But the death knell for the NLL has to be its relative similarity to the NHL. Perhaps I need a better idea of the rules and strategy, but to me - a big NHL fan - I found the action to be like hockey for those with special needs. The shorts make the whole thing seem very cheap. One look at the ogreish goalies and you'll wonder why we ever thought goalie equipment in the NHL got too big.

Now imagine it all for the countless people who find nothing entertaining about hockey.

But look out! It looks like professional lacrosse is all the rage (can't believe that's not a team name yet). The NLL has some competition in the form of Major League Lacrosse (singular name count 4 out of 10 - Pride, Barrage, Machine, Riptide), established in 2001. The NLL features both Canadian and US teams - the MLL is pure red white and blue (Rochester and Philadelphia have the pleasure of being two lacross team cities).

Maybe one of these leagues needs Jerry Porter to perk things up.

Maybe I'll just wait for March Madness.

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QuestionableSports

Thwarted

2006-02-02T22:34:00.000-05:00

And just when I was starting to warm up to the idea of a beeho.com.

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BehindTheScenes

For shame

2006-02-01T23:09:00.000-05:00

Just when I start tossing compliments around about Jim Davis' campaign staff, they disappoint me severely with their lack of Simpsons knowledge. I know you guys are busy, but might I suggest a viewing party?

The ultimate question: did Congressman Davis get it?

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PoliticalNonInsight

Cab Calloway, animal droppings and public transport

2006-02-01T20:09:00.000-05:00

Merriam-Webster provides three definitions for the word scat:

to go away quickly
an animal fecal dropping
jazz singing with nonsense syllables

Do any of these definitions inspire confidence in a mass transit system? It seems that four public transportation systems in this country - South County and South Coast in California, Suffolk in New York and Sarasota in Florida think so, or at least didn't know to ask. All four utilize the acronym SCAT to varying degrees (Sarasota, where I first noticed the troubling acronym, puts it on the side of their buses with the logo above).

Perhaps these organizations had the first definition in mind, though I highly doubt it. Considering the purpose of public transport, it's disconcerting that the definition does not allow for coming back quickly or at any other rate of speed. There's also the fact that the most common connotation of that particular definition is something you'd yell at a bothersome cat, which I'd imagine is where the animal droppings come into play. Maybe they were hoping to score Cab Calloway to promote their services. After all, the kids love Minnie the Moocher.

With the exception of South Coast, where the S and C are both part of the name, these organizations may want to consider dropping the word county from their names - not only would they avoid the fecal acronym but they'd be describing an activity customers could enjoy while riding.

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QuestionableBehavior

Bush: "I said what?"

2006-02-01T14:52:00.000-05:00

Drunk on power and the adulation of countless standing ovations, President Bush made some startling statements in last night's State of the Union address.

This afternoon Bush awoke to a debilitating hangover made worse by his staff's reading of the speech to him.

"I said what?" the President asked as he shuffled around the room switching off all the lights.

Bush was surprised to hear that he again pushed for Social Security reform, a goal from his last address that failed to gain any momentum.

"Geez, I didn't know I was still thinking about that."

A quote from his points on Iraq was particularly alarming.

The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else.

At that point Bush simply groaned and asked if anyone had any aspirin.

When told of his comments about a need for energy independence through alternative sources, Bush chuckled slightly. "I actually remember that one. Not bad, huh?"

Bush finally waived away his staff, save for Karl Rove, upon hearing of his call for restrained spending. He pulled Rove aside and asked quietly, "Are people actually going to expect this stuff?"

Rove replied assertively, "The spin is happening as we speak, Mr. President; no need to worry." Bush asked Rove to keep his voice down.

As Rove headed towards the door Bush smiled slightly. "I guess it could be worse; we could be heading into an election year."

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PoliticalNonInsight

Pazz and Jop 2005

2006-02-01T01:31:00.000-05:00

It wasn't that good a book anyway.

One of my favorite times of year - the potential of some CD binging thanks to the good folks at the Village Voice. Their latest edition of Pazz and Jop, an annual survey of numerous popular music critics, is here.

In the past I made reference to the only passing interest I take in the Voice's movie survey. But Pazz and Jop has provided many recommendations that have proven most successful.

The survey also has the advantage of being attached to Voice head music critic Robert Christgau. My boss introduced me to his Consumer Guides a few years back, and I've been hooked since. Sure his prose is every bit as impenetrable as J. Hoberman's, Voice head movie critic; at the very least when I have the patience to pick through the prose I find some pretty handy album suggestions. And when I say album suggestions, I stress album. The guy has managed to remain quite relevant even in his old age - you have to dig a geezer that can dig Eminem - but his love of the album form definitely seems dated in the age of the iPod. I for one dig the album just fine - and some Eminem - so that's why his Dean's List is normally an even better source for new music.

For the second year in a row Kanye West takes top album honors home - the only other artist to accomplish that in the history of the poll is The Clash (The Clash and London Calling). The punks might have a hard time hearing their heroes mentioned along with Mr. West, but considering the Clash really did only make three great albums (Give 'Em Enough Rope is underrated - sorry, Sandinista fans) Kanye is not that far away even if this is all he ever does.

The College Dropout might even have a little bit in common with London Calling - both were albums introduced to a genres that were very single-powered. Sure, Kanye had "Jesus Walks" and more recently "Gold Digger" but the ridiculous staying power of both West albums has been a direct result of deep albums with plenty of singles material. Then people bought and realized that all the songs actually made some sense together. Heck the collection of songs even created a greater whole, which explains the anomaly of a strong selling, critically revered rap album.

Toss last year's American Idiot into the mix and there's proof that maybe the album isn't quite ready to go follow VHS to obsolescence. So check out Pazz and Jop 2005 - or even the complete archive of past polls and other Christgau reviews - to find a long-play to suit your taste.

Or I guess you could check out the 100 Greatest Guitar Solos, but you know how I feel about that sort of thing.

Enough to make a butcher out of bone
Take a walk in the park?
Sh-t yeah!

- Sonic Youth, "Eliminator Jr."

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PopMusic

Read before you post

2006-01-31T23:33:00.000-05:00

And not a few minutes after I proclaimed that the changes to wordpress.com would happen soon, I immediately hit a roadblock.

Just as you have to pass on some perks with a free blog system like Blogger, it seems wordpress.com has its limitations at startup.

Customization is almost completely unavaiable. You can choose from 20 or so templates - that's it. You can't edit the themes in any way - no changing the header, no AdSense, no hit counter, nothing. The FAQ post regarding the lack of theme customization has plenty of comments from disgruntled bloggers, many saying that they won't make the switch from Blogger until this is remedied. WordPress does make its own comments stating that customization is happening, but the last update comment was posted at the end of November. Not promising.

I can certainly appreciate a clean site, but you really do need to allow for some personalization. Perhaps WordPress is hoping to keep .org and .com at least marginally different, but I can't imagine that they hope to be competitive with Blogger and others if they don't plan on coming close to comparative features.

So now that I got the jones for making the switch, I'm back to thinking about finding my own host. Maybe that's the plan. Curse you, WordPress. I think I'll go decidedly lo-tech and read a book.

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BehindTheScenes

CT is right

2006-01-31T22:50:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling ...BEEHO will be departing this mortal BlogSpot sooner or later.

This is what CT had to say on a comment to my earlier post about my small technology victory regarding the limitations of Blogger. And no more than a few hours after he made this comment, it's feeling like sooner.

If I could ignore the suggestion I'd be fine, but it's not going to go away. It took me almost exactly three months to grow tired of the original template I chose. The fact is that the restlessness will soon return, and considering how long it took me to find a user-created template I didn't hate I doubt I'd be able to find another design to satisfy the anxiety.

My HTML knowledge is still below average but as far as I have heard WordPress is much more flexible, so were I to conjure up the ambition to learn my efforts might actually lead to results.

There's still the question of the name. Sure the acronym seems to be catching - O'Blog and bl0gax both list me in their blogrolls that way - but there are still some days when I cringe at the thought of both title and acronym. That may just be me. Also consider that both Tampa Taxi Shots and tinylittledots refer to me with question in my URL that is answered by the title of the blog. That bit wasn't even terribly funny when I first thought of it. Even early on I also thought about creating a private domain - that's a whole other committment I'm not sure I'm ready to make.

So either I'll be possessed by ambition and promptly get a WordPress blog up and running, or I'll dawdle while continuing to casually post here. Either way it's definitely going to happen - I'd hate to make CT look stupid.

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BehindTheScenes

Making Blogger work for you

2006-01-30T23:48:00.000-05:00

Any regular readers - I'll reign in my self-deprecation for a change, as it does seem like I have a few of those - that actually made it through my last post - oops - may have noticed something wacky going on at the end. Thanks to the fine folks at FreshBlog and ecmanaut I have fashioned something like categories.

After briefly entertaining the idea of ditching Blogger and finding a host to use with WordPress, I quickly came to my senses and remembered how much I like free things, as well as how little I enjoy the technical aspect of this blogging thing. Blogger is free so it stays for now, especially now that I've found a way around one of its limitations - its lack of support for categories and tags.

Best of all the hack is positively me-proof. I downloaded the Firefox extension Greasemonkey, added a script that tweaks Blogger's posting program, and that was it. Each post only requires a few extra seconds' worth of clicking now, and I have categories.

The minor OCD in me requires that I categorize my prior posts at some point, but I've already exceeded my tech accomplishments limit for the day. Maybe I'll fire up the Xbox.

I be like Wendell Berry how I know the dark
It's just me and the moon in the forest park

- Northern State, "Trinity"

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BehindTheScenes

DCU

2006-01-30T22:56:00.000-05:00

The impromptu day off from work - as long as you're not ill, it's one of those minor joys.

Or as long as you don't have to visit the Delayed Crimes Unit of the Tampa Police Department.

I'll say this - should you feel the need to spend too much time waiting for the attention of a civil servant, Delayed Crimes may trump the DMV.

I have reason to believe that I've been the victim of identity theft. There's a credit card account out there in my name and other vitals, so I went down to Franklin and Madison to demand justice or something like it.

Justice turned out to be an middle-aged spitfire of a woman working outside her usual department. When I walked into the office she was impatiently listening to the slurring complaints of an inconsequential looking blonde. I'm not up on my controlled substance side effects, but my best guess is that the blonde was at the time under the influence of antifreeze. Due to her strung out rambling - a sort of Russian Luanne from King of the Hill - I was forced to put together the pieces of her story with just the TPD employee's half of the conversation. A sample:

TPD: Next time she shows up with a baseball bat, you need to call us.
Luanne: buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzz my baby away buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzz
TPD: Ma'am, please listen to me.
Luanne: buzz
TPD: Ma'am?
Luanne: buzzbuzz
Me: Eff it, they can have the credit card.

As the clerk grew increasingly peeved, I saw my forthcoming experience becoming less and less satisfactory. Eventually Ms. Platter left, theoretically to talk to her lawyer about finally establishing who has custody of her child.

And eventually I got my turn. The clerk's demeanor turned out to be a direct consequence of the person in need of help, so the day took a turn from Cops-style nervous fun to almost pleasant. A certain camaraderie took form in the office. A second clerk appeared in time - she was helping a web designer pressing charges against a customer that threatened mortal violence after a promised project was late. As I filled out my affidavit two other people came to file an identity theft report. We all listened to the others' stories of victimization. My clerk obviously took great pleasure in showing us sundry oddities on her computer screen - that civilians possibly should not be looking at other people's records was a possibility that obviously only came to the civilians.

When it was all over I had a renewed respect for those working for government entities and an encyclopedic manual from the Federal Trade Commission on how to fight back against identity fraud.

Tomorrow it's back to work, where a man was arrested today for carrying a gun in the waistband of his pants. Sounds like the day off was a wash at best.

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LifeOf

Kate Spade for Senate

2006-01-29T23:49:00.000-05:00

Coming soon to a philosophy major near you.

Following in the steps of the Chairman Mao tunic and the Che shirt (courtesy of thechestore.com), it's the Evo sweater, the latest in world leaderwear.

(Maybe Che Guevara didn't actually wear a t-shirt with his likeness. You get the point.)

Evo Morales, Bolivia's recently elected president, has quickly become known for his striped, Cosbyesque alpaca wool sweaters. That can mean only one thing - product possibilities! Sure enough, a Bolivia-based online store has begun selling replicas of the ~~tacky~~ eye-catching sweaters. They've sold 200 sweaters to customers in 20 countries.

Though the strategy behind the man-of-the-people look should not surprise anyone - consider our own Marlboro Man-inspired president - we fortunately do have someone to look to for questions on the fashion of politics. Robin Givhan of the Washington Post provides analysis of mostly Washington-based sartorial choices - her latest column told us of Samuel Alito eschewing "French cuffs for the standard barrel ones."

On a marginally related note, how long will it take Evo's, the Tampa Bay area healthy fast-food franchise, to find a tie-in?

Mmm - alpaca burgers.

You-pick-uh-winner

2006-01-29T00:37:00.000-05:00

The wife and I regretted not making it out to Gasparilla, particularly on such a nice day. However the day was not a complete loss; not only did I get to enjoy the Lightning slaughter the Flyers (hope Vinny is alright), but we then went down to TBPAC to enjoy Jobsite's production of Topdog/Underdog.

The script is pretty solid. Digging for some reviews I found many complaints about the ending - blame it on The Sixth Sense. It seems like the sole ingredient of a good ending these days is the twist - if you see it coming then the entire work up to that point becomes worthless. Anyone that pays even slight attention to the play will have a pretty good idea of what will happen in the end, but that does not invalidate the power of the finale. In fact I think the play gains with its air of impending doom, lending each moment an extra bit of tension.

The local production is pretty solid. Derek Lance Jefferson, playing younger brother Booth, teeters ever so slightly on the line of overacting in the beginning of the play, but it's impressive that as the tension mounts in the story his performance becomes more focused rather than unravelling further. Older brother Lincoln (and if you're thinking those names are pretty convenient, the characters are aware of it too) is played by "ranney" (yes, that's how you write it - when your bio reads as impressively as his, you can spell your name however you want); his performance is the highlight by far. Music was very important to the original production - how many non-musical Broadway shows have a soundtrack? - and Jobsite retains that tradition well.

And just in case you're wondering why you should take any theatre advice from me - that would be fair - will you take the word of a real critic? A good night out and support of a great local organization - what excuse do you have?

Throw your neck out
Throw your back out

- Outkast, "The Rooster"

TGI Friday's bathroom - not for the faint of heart

2006-01-27T01:05:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's something they're putting in the pot stickers, but the bathrooms at TGI Friday's are obviously magnet's for questionable actions.

Once I encountered some creepy moaning behind a stall, moaning too pleasant to be based on gastric distress but still slightly pained to leave you questioning the potentially sexual origin.

Not more than a month later I walked in to find a man testing his own long-distance urinating abilities, standing at least a foot away from the urinal. As soon as he saw me and was aware of how unimpressed I was he sheepishly shuffled forward.

Of course neither of these is as odd - or profane - was what Addison encountered.

Hello Undies

2006-01-27T00:42:00.000-05:00

I have a vague memory of a Christmas gift exchange in early elementary school. With an equal mix of boys and girls the gifts were obviously supposed to be of a unisex nature. Someone did not adhere to the rules, and a boy ended up with something Hello Kitty. I seem to remember that he started crying before the teacher asked if a girl would trade gifts with him, which fortunately someone was happy to do.

If I may assume sexual orientation, I have to imagine that he would not frown upon something Hello Kitty now, as long as it resembled this.

I know the fact that Hello Kitty is no longer for little girls only is old hat, but I still got a kick out of this slideshow over at the Village Voice. And if you don't think that Sanrio, the company responsible for Hello Kitty and many other characters, is smart enough to know this, check out the very un-pre-teen girl on the home page of Sanrio's shop. Consider also their 2003 revenue of 1 billion dollars, 500 million of which comes from Hello Kitty.

The good one

2006-01-26T23:25:00.000-05:00

My wife's grandmother celebrated a birthday on Wednesday, the Bad One. The Bad One is what she called it, and out of respect for her that is all the information I will relate regarding said birthday. She deserves that respect.

She deserves that respect because she is strong, as strong as any woman of any age I've known. Scoliosis has given her the posture of someone carrying a weight without hope of relieft. She suffers from almost constant pain. She is forced to take several medications for various internal maladies, medications which often cause her greater pain. She has been without her husband for many years, a husband obviously missed greatly by her and everyone else that knew him; he is even missed by this writer, who never had the opportunity to meet him. My wife says he would have like me a lot - we would have spoken about music endlessly.

These physical and emotional trials need no introduction upon meeting her - they are plainly projected in the eyes of a woman well aware of their heft. They become clearer when you hear others speak of her past - she was mod, she raced cars and motorbikes, she tore her family away from that backward place where her family had lived for so long in order to raise her daughter in a proper way. The verve has now been replaced by a bitterness which is difficult to deny her after hearing her speak of her own past.

And yet through it all she is strong. I have a hard time thinking about it all without feeling the weight myself. She lives with it every day, but in her own way she drives on. Her voice seems unaffected by the weight - her opinions are often in direct contrast to my own, and yet even in my frustration I am often thrilled by the energy with which she delivers them. She has had absolutely no use for the attitude towards technology so prevalent among those of an advanced age, completely embracing the computer and all its advantages in communication.

The Bad One had been looming for the last few weeks, and it seemed as if it would insidiously break her down. Perhaps she had hoped that the Bad One would never come, that the weight would break her before it did. It was hard to watch.

Oh, but what a miracle a little kindness can create. When my wife and I met the family for an early dinner, there was a smile on the grandmother's face like none I had seen, yet immediately I knew it had to be the smile that was, the smile of the girl on the motorbike. Red roses were sent from a friends. There were several well-wishing phone calls. There was lots of candy. From my wife a toe ring, something she'd always wanted - no ordinary grandmother for sure. Dinner kept piling on the happiness. The waitress was friendly as could be, the food was enjoyable, and how could she not smile when the waitress brought her a live lobster with a birthday card clenched in its claws?

She deserved it all.

By the time dinner was over I could not see my brother-in-law walking her out to the van. What I saw was a woman casting aside the Bad One and all the other weight, strapping on a pair of riding boots and racing away someplace.

Anything you can do I can completely neglect

2006-01-25T00:05:00.000-05:00

It is quite a testament to how much influence blogs wield these days that the mere existence of one can cause a Republican to compliment a Democratic candidate for Florida governor.

It is also a testament to the smarts of Jim Davis' campaign that it continues to be the only campaign recognizing said influence, at least to the point that they thought it important to establish their own blog(Rod Smith does at least make mention, but merely includes links to blogs in hopes someone might actually talk about him - by the way, I did not include a link to Smith's blog list because the link is broken as of the time of this post). I've mentioned before that Charlie Crist first featured a blog on his site, but the sheer half-assedness of that venture becomes more conspicuous every day.

When I first checked out Crist's campaign site, there was a large picture - my memory may be failing me, but I think it was an extremely inappropriate picture of a pen - that linked to the campaign blog. Rather than make any attempts to expand the blog, the webmasters' apparent shame has lead them to cut the picture and instead include a small link under "Media Center." The entire site has been redesigned, so the lack of effort is obviously not for lack of time.

By the way, there has been no entry to this so-called blog since January 6. Perhaps Crist is still recovering from an Epiphany-related hangover.

Meanwhile Matt Thornton has kept up Davis' blog quite regularly. There's a comment on his latest post hoping that Jim Davis himself will soon blog on what is purported to be his blog. Frankly if Mr. Davis found time to blog regularly I would question his commitment to both his campaign and his job. Leave the blogging to people who either get paid to do it or have too much time on their hands and little need for sleep.

I still cannot muster the idealistic excitement some people have for the idea of a blogging candidate, but then again excitement doesn't suit me all that well - that picture in my profile is a pretty good representation of what I'm like most of the time. This contrast may however speak volumes for the candidates' ability to carry something through, or at the very least to their ability to hire staff to carry through in their place.

I think ahead of you
I think instead of you
Will you spend your life with me
And stifle me?

- Tricky, "Suffocated Love"

Hate that monkey

2006-01-24T22:40:00.000-05:00

I'm not terribly sure what possessed me to even casually watch the new CBS series Love Monkey. The network and the title should have been enough for me to stay away. I can justify it all I want - it was just in the background while I pored over blogs with much better things to say than I ever could (just pick at random from the blogroll, you'll find it) - but with 100-some odd channels at my disposal, I have no excuse.

I honestly can't say I paid enough attention to provide anything in the way of a review. What I do know is that a little more than halfway through tonight's episode, I heard a lyric that gave me a serious case of the fits.

We built this city...

The obnoxious harmonies, the echo - it was all there. If this show wants to make even the slightest attempt at attracting music fans (I know, very slight), shouldn't they know better than to use a song so dreadful that even VH1 is not ironic enough to appreciate it?

Come on, CBS - leave the awkward hipsterism for WB or UPN or whatever child their breeding produces.

A tad less subtle than Mary in a tree stump

2006-01-24T00:27:00.000-05:00

About 20 minutes outside of Cincinnati (see what I'm saying about that place) in the city of Monroe is Solid Rock Church. The church is completely unremarkable in every way.

Except for the 62-foot styrofoam Jesus.

The statue can apparently be seen from ~~space~~ the interstate. I'm having trouble finding the evangelical purpose for this thing. Perhaps they were just hoping to get some publicity by ending up in a book detailing what's strange about Ohio.

Good work, Solid Rock!

Turning left just got a little more complicated

2006-01-23T20:50:00.000-05:00

So Toyota cars are going to enter competition in both the Nextel Cup and Busch series. Considering I know several people who still think Japan is the enemy, this may not go so well.

I mean, what will this guy think?

Fun with gas

2006-01-22T20:57:00.000-05:00

Just in case you ever wondered what's inside that locked panel on a gas pump.

This was a day after I pulled into another gas station and found the regular unleaded hose was missing the front of the nozzle, forcing me to put expensive 89-octane gas in my weak 4-liter engine. And I thought prices were the only problem.

Storms in the house

2006-01-20T19:19:00.000-05:00

Late Friday afternoon at work - the promise of a quiet, lazy evening at home with my wife has no trouble casting work-related thoughts casually out of my mind. Staring out from my desk into nothing specific, our customer holds shelf yanks my gaze for a moment. Attached to a special education textbook is a sheet of paper with a most curious name.

Storms.

Shame it wasn't a meteorology textbook. Or... no, it couldn't be. I shuffle over to the shelf and slide the paper behind the attaching rubber band.

Rhonda.

How many of them could their be in Tampa? I ignore the superfluous h - who else spells it that way anyway?

I spend the next ten minutes asking every employee on the floor if they took the call. I get a lot of no's plus several isn't she?'s. I finally find my person - the only information she can give me is that the customer was buying the book for someone else and that she would come in by closing or the next day.

I'm not coming in the next day. I can't decide whether I'm hopeful or not that she'll make it today.

No more than few minutes later, a familiar face approaches the counter. Knowing what the answer will be, I ask if she needs help. As I turn to retrieve the book, my customer service spirit struggles to defeat my political sensibilities. Be nice.

Again fully aware of the answer, I ask if she is that Ronda Storms. She offers a faint smile. I muster a barely sincere "It's nice to meet you."

What followed was an unidentifiable audible accompanied by the most puzzling of facial expressions. Struggling to explain the thoughts behind that look, I quickly took a self-poll of the possibilities. The results:

22% - "He probably doesn't vote in my district; I can dial it down."
20% - "I smell liberal - he probably hangs out at bikini bars with all his gay friends."
15% - "Can't smile - make-up too heavy."
10% - "RednerRednerRednerRednerRednerRedner..."
33% - Who cares - still thinking about wife and relaxation.

I told her where the registers are. The political reflex kicked in - she offered a handshake. Warmer than I thought. She went upstairs, and I was left thinking about where in the evening's busy schedule I could fit time to turn this encounter into a marginally amusing blog entry.

Do the Shatner

2006-01-20T00:35:00.000-05:00

Sad to say, but the unfamous kidney stone auction I mentioned yesterday was pulled from eBay. However you can now bid on an Asheville, NC area disc jockey's stone - it's also for charity. After less than a day since the auction began, the high bid is at $53.00. Let that be a lesson to all of us: if you're thinking about selling kidney stones on eBay, be sure to be at least marginally famous.

Also of note are auctions for pop art inspired by Willam Shatner's kidney stone, including a Shatner-shaped stone held in Spock's live long and prosper fingers.

I want to shake my head over all of this, yet my own fascination with the subject is giving me shivers. I might need a better hobby.

Doppelganger lives

2006-01-20T00:18:00.000-05:00

I had just about given up on the guy. Nick, my equal in poor blog titling, has returned. Three posts in the span five days - that's pretty prolific, though he hasn't posted since New Year's Eve. And in a it's-late-I-need-some-sleep kind of way, his Subway and tires rant is minorly amusing.

Some more similarities: we both regret a lack of ambition for piano lessons and find the young Susan Sarandon appealing (even in an advanced age I think she's got something).

Shame I can't take Rocky Horror. Not a shame, really; I prefer my movies to not require audience participation.

This one's not pregnant pigs

2006-01-19T23:29:00.000-05:00

While Florida's constitution continues to defend the basic inalienable rights of pregnant pigs and paramutuel gaming establishments, someone in Hillsborough is hoping to amend the county's charter in a potentially significant and - wait for it - progressive way.

(Via Sticks) Mary Ann Stiles has established Taking Back Hillsborough, a PAC promoting an initiative to create the office of a county mayor in Hillsborough. It's actually not that progressive an idea - in Florida both Miami-Dade and Orange have them.

If you ask me - I know you didn't, but still - this is a pretty fantastic idea, a pretty necessary one for a large and growing county. Whether you agree or not, why not at least put it up for a vote?

I just ask that no one suggest Ronda Storms for the position.

Black and white and easy answers

2006-01-19T22:10:00.000-05:00

According to last week's US box office numbers King Kong trails The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in total gross ticket sales by about 60 million dollars. Despite Narnia having been released a week earlier it still leads Kong in per-screen average and number of screens, which means it will likely beat the ape when they both leave theatres and are promptly pimped for several DVD editions.

I have a feeling that the Parents Television Council would love to explain this with a nod to America tiring of incessant violence and Naomi Watts' bare shoulder.

Maybe the pale-white skin, but not the violence. But I suspect that the biggest obstacle that Kong has not been able to overcome is its comparatively complicated moral arc. That damned dirty ape is just way too conflicting.

Fortunately Peter Jackson has given us a very simple route to comparison. After five weeks at the US box office, Kong has earned just over 200 million dollars. At five weeks Jackson's first installment in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring, had earned a little over 240 million. 40 million dollars may not seem like a lot in box office terms, and it's probably not. But consider that while Fellowship was an over-hyped film based on a much-loved book, it was still a film directed by a relative unknown and featuring a relatively unknown group of actors. Five weeks into the run of The Return of the King, the third part of the LOTR cycle, a now idolized director and group of actors yanked 329 million dollars out of American moviegoer's pockets. That's a big difference, even to Hollywood.

Could it be that America really is tired of loud, overlong fantasy? Considering Narnia is just a slightly more Biblicalish LOTR, I'm still not buying it.

Consider a general analysis of the plot landscapes of both LOTR and Narnia. There is nothing cuddly about Orcs, nothing pleasant about the White Witch. Who could find anything remotely conflicted about Frodo? Even when his ring fetish caused him to act cruelly, we all knew it was all the ring's fault. And who could find anything conflicted about Peter, Edmund, Susan and Lucy (let alone Aslan)? Yes indeed, the lines are clearly drawn in both series.

Now consider that poor ape. Sure, he looks scary. Sure, he swats some planes around. But all he wants is to get the girl in the end - isn't that what the hero always wants and gets? I'm not insinuating that this should pass as quality depth of character. But compared to the chess board world of the other films, Kong is a tormented soul right out of Shakespearean tragedy.

Take a gander at other popular entertainment. Television crime shows never have a hard time demonizing whatever vicious monster our smart heroes are chasing. Reality shows inevitably create frighteningly honest competition among friends that have chosen their particular favorite contestant. Horror movies - well, they're just an hour and a half version of the beginning of those crime shows.

The parallels between our entertainment and our current foreign policy escapades should no longer be hidden from anyone. It's those parallels that further doom Kong to a relatively disappointing showing at the box office. With Rings, Narnia and CSI, we all know who's going to win in the end (horror movies don't always end badly for the villain, but the villain is always the only interesting character in those movies anyway, giving them the sheen of a hero). Unless they changed the ending - I've only seen the much shorter original - Kong's resolution is downright murky. Our moviegoing sensibilities are nowhere near prepared for late-Vietnam-era cynicism. This country is definitely not ready for the ape to die.

Sissy fight

2006-01-18T23:53:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's too early in the race for the gloves to come off, but I am rather disappointed in what is passing for mudslinging in the race for the GOP governor nomination.

Here's what Tom Gallagher had to say about Charlie Crist today:

Charlie Crist is a very nice guy. He's probably one of the nicest guys around and he does a good job of communicating issues ... that are important to his office. I don't think he's ready to be governor.

What a bastard.

Could it be that both campaigns know that a dirty fight will not help the eventual nominee defeat the Democrats? Nah. Give them some time.

But wait: the Dems are finding it hard to drum up the gumption to get dirty, too. Jim Davis and Rod Smith had a debate at Florida International University in Miami. Both apparently saved their mud for the GOP.

I'd say Smith and Davis stand to lose more from an ugly race. Give a listen to Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly or anyone else of that persuasion and you quickly see that mudslinging is the GOP's favorite sport - after guns, that is. As long as the candidate is smearing someone's good name, fellow party member or otherwise, everyone is happy (the left just uses the media for their smearing - right, Bill?).

And don't think I've forgotten, GOP; I'm still waiting for my e-mails.

Tonight's post summary: Florida politics, customer theft, kidney stones. I continute to ignore all conventional wisdom about blogs sticking to at least a general theme. Just the way I like it.

Heavy on kidney accretions, short on shame

2006-01-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

Shatner, pictured here with his good looks, pride and urinary tract firmly in tact.

Oh, William Shatner - what won't you do for a laugh?

Everyone's favorite Priceline whore (and destroyer of Beatles songs - thanks for reminding me, CT) has taken what initially sounds like a great idea and turned it predictably creepy. As a way to raise money for Habitat for Humanity Shatner put a kidney stone that had recently been surgically removed from his innards up for sale.

Who better to buy such a dubious trophy than Golden Palace? The online gambling site rivals Shatner for dubious promotion; in the past they have shelled out money for a Britney Spears pregnancy test and a potato shaped like Pete Townshend (don't forget the streaking thing). They shelled 25,000 dollars for Captain Kidney's nephrolithiasis. Hooray for Habitat for Humanity; shame for humanity (oddly quiet in all of this is Jimmy Carter - where's the peanut-heavy stool sample, huh?).

Never fear, because this story gets even more predictable. If someone of vague celebrity can sell their penis crystals, ~~why can't a random eBay seller do the same?~~ (*Note - the auction was removed after just one day) That's right, for a bid higher than the current $1.00 you too can own your very own someone else's kidney stone. I'm thinking this is not the IT to which the eBay commercials are referring.

Change of heart

2006-01-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

A customer walked into our store yesterday and immediately upon walking in approached an employee, saying that he had stolen some merchandise several months ago. He explained that he wanted to make amends.

Wbat a bizarre circumstance. To a person everyone that heard the story imagined some kind of religious awakening; I've had a hard time coming up with a more suitable hypothesis. It doesn't seem likely that he could ignore his conscience for several months and only now surrender. We don't exactly have a team of detectives and bounty hunters tracking down suspected thieves. There are those that we are quite suspicious of, let alone people that have been arrested several times for theft only to return again and again, but as far as I know this person was new to all. Perhaps he was involved with Jack Abramoff somehow.

Overwrought crap, coming to your town

2006-01-16T22:34:00.000-05:00

I feel that I should provide a service to anyone that happens to stumble here.

Scott Stapp is coming.

Creed is dead, but that doesn't mean Mr. Stapp has to stop killing rock one ham-fisted guitar swell at a time. He's going on a tour to support his ~~ego~~ new solo album.

Ulterior motive for this post? An opportunity to post his mugshot from a very un-rock-and-roll reckless driving arrest:

See that deer in the headlights look on his face? That'll be you if you happen onto one of his live shows. Save yourself.

Things overheard at work

2006-01-14T00:18:00.000-05:00

Customer approaches employees in basement of store. As she points to the stairs nearby, she asks, "Can I use these to get upstairs?"

Beats the pants off the Alan Parsons Project

2006-01-13T22:40:00.000-05:00

The Music Genome Project still strikes me as a tad too academic an idea - I guess that's the point - but at least it's given birth to a killer way to listen to music online.

Pandora asks you to name a favorite artist or song. It will then create a radio station for you based on the exhausting research the MGP provides (my "Janie Jones Radio" just played "Waggy" by blink-182 because it features "hard rock roots, punk influences, a subtle use of vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation and a vocal-centric aesthetic" - academic). As songs play on the station, you can give a thumbs up or down to their choices; this allows Pandora to tweak the station to your taste (I love the near-shame elicited by Pandora when you disapprove of a song: "Sorry about that. We'll try something else, and we'll never play that song on this station again."). If you really like the song, there's a link to buy the song on iTunes or the album on Amazon.

Best of all you can enjoy it for free. I believe it started out with a 10-hour limit unless you subcribed, but a simple free registration can now give you all the subscription benefits, albeit with ads. Even the subscription is relatively inexpensive - $3 a month if you buy a year subscription.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go enjoy the clean lyrics and heavy use of chordal patterning of Buck 65.

Maybe his thumb's stuck that way

2006-01-13T19:47:00.000-05:00

Aging is certainly nothing sunny spring meadowy to look forward to. Still I am very much excited about the day when it becomes socially acceptable for me to be every bit as curmudgeonly as I already am.

So it scares me to think that my elderly fate may be similar to the conciliatory state that has apparently befallen supercritic Roger Ebert.

I make a point to read IMDb's movie critic review synopses every Friday. For a while I've been noticing Ebert predictably being the rare positive voice for an otherwise universally panned flick. Could it be that Ebert has lost his critical teeth in his old age?

So off I went to Ebert's site at the Chicago Sun-Times. His ratings are based on a four-star system. Logically that means that a two-star movie would be considered mediocre, with everything below being unworthy of recommendation. His current reviews list forty-seven movies from this weekend back to November 9; seven of those films received two-stars or below.

This may give me away for the snob I know I am, but could there only have been seven bad films released in the last two months? Some of the few films for which Ebert does muster some ill will are far too obscure to register anything like popular dissent - go ahead, defend 39 Pounds of Love if you can.

Read his reviews of otherwise critically hated films and it seems like Ebert treats these films like the dumb, unruly child that you have to love. He digs until he finds something redeemable, then decides that the one good outweighs the twenty bad. He'll also try to pinpoint the demographic that might actually enjoy the film; that's an exercise that should have nothing to do with criticism, especially considering the critic-proof nature of some of the films he pays back-handed compliments. I doubt many people changed their mind one way or the other upon reading his three-star review of The Ringer (a 46/100 on the review aggregator Metacritic)

I do still enjoy his prose, and his biggest recommendations do still sometimes match my sensibilities. One of my all-time favorite sci-fi films is Dark City, a movie rarely mentioned by either movie buffs (of which I am one, I guess) or sci-fi buffs (of which I am not one, I know). Not only did Ebert love the film, he analyzed the film shot-by-shot for four days at a film festival.

So maybe I'm not giving some of these movies a chance - after all I have not seen on of the forty-seven movies. I just can't come up with any desire to see, say, Bee Season (four stars from Ebert, 55/100 from Metacritic). I did admit I'm cranky, but come on - Richard Gere plus spelling bees cannot possibly equal a good night out at the movies, can it?

Florida - it starts with F

2006-01-13T19:36:00.000-05:00

This is so mo-effin' depressing. Thanks - I guess - to Sticks for digging up this survey.

As much as I hate to see fine arts and physical education being squeezed out of schools, we may want to start with requiring civics in more than five counties.

Sorry, fellow Floridians - the 2000 election isn't going away, not with news like this.

But Jeb says our kids won't be left behind. As long as they can read the questions on surveys like this, we'll be all set.

Try the elk

2006-01-12T23:42:00.000-05:00

My Three Kings Day present from my wife was dinner at my pick for Sorry Bern's Best Restaurant in Tampa, Mise En Place.

The menu, which changes weekly, is usually so chock-full of goodness that I'm usually better off letting the chef pick - the tasting menu never disappoints, including always perfectly paired wine. But one of the entrees on the menu was elk. And how often will I have the chance to eat elk?

I must say I'll take the chance again if I get it. Didn't taste at all like venison (or like chicken). My wife, usually averse to anything "gamey," was also impressed.

The dish even had some rabbit on the side, another meat first for me. And still my one truly negative experience was sea urchin.

Someone ate too many carrots.

Why even bother?

2006-01-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

Too easy.

So Bushy the Younger was in New Orleans today. He declared the following:

For folks around the country who are looking for a great place to have a convention, or a great place to visit, I'd suggest coming here to the great New Orleans

Yes, we just discovered that New Orleans has a convention center. Call ahead - we can get some food there.

Tell us more about New Orleans.

...heck of a place to bring your family... some of the greatest food in the world... some wonderful fun

Easy to say when you don't visit any place that was actually damaged during Katrina.

I must say it's a good thing that he visited the city and is attempting to encourage others to do the same. I'm not sure how much travel advice I'm looking for from a man who spends most of his vacations chopping wood in Texas, but it's a start.

And I am very glad to see that he understands the concept of visiting a city in order to display something like concern. It's a start.

Trib lowers the bar

2006-01-12T22:34:00.000-05:00

I am proud to say that ...BEEHO is now the 25th blog listed on the Tampa Tribune's opinion page Bay Area Blog Watch. I'm right below the startlingly honest Any day above ground is a good one. Quite a step between 24 and 25.

The list still feels like quite the afterthought. Rather than compiling a sizable list before posting the watch on their page they started with seven then checked with Jeff at Side Salad for any other blogs rather than checking his or anyone else's blogrolls or links page. One can only hope that they'll soon stumble upon some of ...BEEHO's favorite local blog, like Bitch Lab, Population Statistic, or the return of everyone's favorite Interbay Superstar. And as Tommy mentions in the Sticks story, there's absolutely no explanation on what exactly a blog is.

But hey, I got a couple of hits from there today. I'm not proud.

Squick me

2006-01-11T23:18:00.000-05:00

In an announcement that will surely interest only minutiae-hunting bloggers like myself, the editors of the New Oxford Dictionary announced their words of their year. Heading up this year's list is "podcast."

Alright, no surprise there. Let's go further down the list. We've got "bird flu" which seems to me to be two words. We then have a few acronyms - these guys obviously don't play much Scrabble. Then we have "lifehack," which is defined as "a more efficient or effective way of completing an everyday task."

Is this a word the boys back at Oxford University are tossing around? Am I just growing that much more out of touch?

I was also taken aback by "squick" - "cause immediate and thorough revulsion" (used in a sentence: "Was anyone else squicked by our waiter’s piercings?").

So off to Google we go. Squick mostly gave me dictionaries and encyclopedias. First hit for lifehack took me to lifehack.org, which reads like every How to Move Cheese and Influence Oz Principles nonsense book corporate American continues to lap up. Nice t-shirts, though.

We now wait anxiously for American Heritage to announce their choice.

So get used to the lonsesome
Girl, you must atone some
Don't leave me no phone number there
La di da

- The Shins, "Gone for Good"

Inappropriate recommendations at always low prices

2006-01-09T00:18:00.000-05:00

Though I'm not sure how often anyone utilizes the feature, many online shopping sites like Amazon provide recommendations based on other purchases by customers. Wal-Mart decided they'd do something radical and make attempts at customer service, implementing a similar system on their site.

Oops.

It seems that the site linked the film Planet of the Apes to "similar items" such as movies about Martin Luther King, Jack Johnson and Tina Turner.

While I would certainly love to take any chance possible to poke fun at Wal-Mart, I have a feeling this was a very unfortunate coincidence. A Wal-Mart spokesperson said that the system obviously had many glitches, providing that movies such as Home Alone were also linking to African American-themed films. The company has removed the recommendations feature on their site.

I think this is less an example of some sort of racist conspiracy as it is an example of poor programming and testing. Coupled with the failure of their online video-rental venture, it seems that Wal-Mart isn't putting forth much of an effort into the Internet portion of their company. The site seems to me a virtual representation of their palette-choked, disorganized aisles (though I still think bigger sites like Amazon are pretty hard on the eyes). It's as if the existence of their site has very little to do with a potential for increased sales and more to do with, well, what's this blog called again?

Americans do it backwards

2006-01-08T08:53:00.000-05:00

Another drawback of the suburban lifestyle: you simply cannot appreciate the all the wonderful oddities of many of your fellow citizens when everyone spends most of their time in a window-tinted car. Sure you'll catch the occasional nose-picking or enthusiastic torso dancing. But when you see several of those in a day, the joy is gone. Nothing makes for greater people watching being outside.

I got my haircut yesterday from an especially gregarious German woman - I wonder how long she's been not noticing that no one can hear you speak when you're blow drying right into their ear? When I could hear her we lamented about how much we miss Europe after my two weeks and her twenty-two years. She said her ultimate goal was to live in California, which to my surprised she described as very European - I didn't bother to ask which part but figured it wasn't L.A. What she missed most is how everyone spent time outside, no matter the weather. Anyone in the Bay area knows what a beautiful day Saturday was, so her point was very well taken.

So I'm driving back home on Bruce B. when I spot a man in a wheelchair on the southbound sidewalk. Not only was he enjoying the outdoors but he was so invigorated as to have regained use of his legs, or at least enough to push himself backwards up the sidewalk.

But it wasn't over yet. After I got home my second errand had me going further north on BB Downs. On the northbound sidewalk was a jogger - sure enough, jogging backwards.

I guess it's possible that jogging backwards might target a different set of muscles, though I cannot imagine that health benefits outweigh the potential for physical and pride injury after a fall. Either way I'm sure they don't do that in Germany.

New enemy

2006-01-05T01:53:00.000-05:00

Not sure how long ago this happened, but everyone's favorite falafel fiend Bill O'Reilly has added another media organization to his naughty list: The New Yorker.

Well rock me all night, that's great! I was happy enough that the Times made his original list. Speaking as a subscriber to the New Yorker I am downright ecstatic now. My Christmas present to myself just got that much cooler.

Five non-standard guitar albums

2006-01-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

Because noodling is rarely a good thing - I'm talking to you, The Bone.

The Velvet Underground, The Velvet Underground - I love their noise to pieces, but I am no longer ashamed to admit that their sleepy album is my favorite. The rhythm guitar on "What Goes On" alone makes the thing worth it - the rest could be piano cabaret (fortunately only "The Murder Mystery" comes close).

Penthouse, Luna - This one's cheating a bit - geek guitar god Tom Verlaine guests on two songs. But like the VU album, it's always nice to hear subtlety rock. This is probably more of a testament to fantastic production - the sound of the guitars is strikes me as possibly still new but at least pretty.

Vee Vee, Archers of Loaf - But sometimes you just need to make a racket. Out of my 180 or so beloved CD's, maybe three or four spend more time in the player in my car than this one. Like The Libertines, Strokes-style, sterile-tight rhythms are not at a premium; unlike the Libertines, it's probably more by design and less by being fabulously trashed. It's what punk rock should sound like these days.

Slanted and Enchanted, Pavement - Tough call between this and Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. I'll take this as a stand-in for Velvets-style drone. The songs and sounds grow deeper after you hear some of them live. The album creates quite the dense, ironic vibe; the shows prove the guys aren't trying to hide behind the vibe, at least not yet.

Entertainment, Gang of Four - I know it's very chic to drop their name these days. I'm still not entirely sure anyone is listening to this album as much as Solid Gold, their transition album from punk idols to disco wonks. Herky-jerky rhythms didn't start here, and they certainly didn't disappear until Franz Ferdinand. What the mangling to which Andy Gill subjects his guitar (nevermind Jon King's Marxist sly raving) has anything to do with the Beatles-in-the-club pop permeating alt-radio today is beyond me. I more inclined to think of them as Rage Against the Machine with less fuzz but much more humor.

Search me

2006-01-04T22:50:00.000-05:00

The vagaries of the blogosphere probably amuse no one but me anymore, but I'm still pretty new to this - you'll have to bear with me.

By a wide margin the three search terms that have most often led wandering fingers here are as follows:

3. Calrton Hill
2. Thera-Flu
1. Stephen Colbert

I'm aware that the more obscure the subject the more likely that someone will happen upon this site (which is why these subjects have attracted more hits than searches for, say, a topless Jennifer Aniston. I'd imagine in order to increase hits related to that topic I'd also have to include salacious terminology related to things people would like to do or see done to Ms. Aniston. I'm not that desperate). Still I can't help but wonder precisely what information those searching for Thera-Flu were after. I can only hope that if they were searching for suggestions on a suitable generic brand replacement for Thera-Flu, they heeded my warning.

Because I live in Tampa - it's required by law

2006-01-03T01:22:00.000-05:00

I don't talk about the Bucs much. Not only am I a bigger Dolphins' fan, but Best Bucs Blog and Pewter Pirates both do a perfectly fine job covering all things Buccaneers. But the Bucs are in the playoffs, so let's give them a mention.

There are many intriguing potential matchups in this year's playoffs - Barber v. Barber, the Manning Bowl, Pats and Colts again - but I doubt that there's no game that would be more loaded with drama than a Tampa Bay against Indianapolis Super Bowl. And much like the classic MNF game the two teams played in 2003, I probably won't be able to help but root for the Colts.

That's another reason I don't talk about the Bucs much.

But I know I won't be the only one in Tampa rooting for the Colts. If it wasn't already a well known fact, the recent death of Tony Dungy's son proved that Dungy is about as beloved a person as this city has. Even if that tragedy had never happened I'm sure there'd be plenty of Tampa residents cheering on the Colts.

I don't really dislike Jon Gruden as many I know do. Sure he's every bit the opposite of the kind, level-headed Dungy, but that may not be such a bad thing. How can you not enjoy the scowl or the X-rated lip-reading? He definitely seems smug, but as long as they don't reach Warren Sapp levels of antisocial behavior I don't care what personality problems any football player or coach has.

That being said I doubt that Gruden would have the type of following should he leave the Bucs that Dungy has had after his Tampa tenure. Add to that the fact that so many people think the ring Gruden won was with Dungy's team - an argument with plenty of merit - and I can definitely see even some die-hard Bucs fans wearing Colt blue under their Alstott jerseys.

Vote, for shame - the FL governor e-mail campaign

2006-01-03T00:57:00.000-05:00

Several days ago I received an e-mail from Jim Davis' campaign. It was in the form of a letter from two people who had received very personal help from Davis when their elderly mother was evicted from her nursing home.

A few days later (although the message was apparently sent on the 29th of December, I didn't receive it until New Year's Day - shame the e-mail touts the December 31st contribution deadline) Rod Smith's campaign provided its own satisfied customer letter, this time from a woman who was attacked in her apartment.

While I'm happy to see both campaigns are at least doing something with their e-mail updates - I now sign up for updates from both GOP candidates almost daily, wondering if maybe there's some kind of technical problem - my jaded self can't help but think that both candidates thought of these very campaigning letters when they were presented with both cases. Not that the effort and results weren't positive. Hey, I said I was jaded.

Here are both letters, in case you don't get the updates and want to read them for yourself.

Dear , (*note: that's how it came - they called me Dear*)
Seven years ago, our 93-year-old mother was evicted out of her nursing home along with many more residents because they were on Medicaid. Like many older Americans, our mother had exhausted her financial means and relied on Medicaid to pay her medical bills.We were distraught, and searched everywhere for help. Fortunately for our family, Jim Davis was our congressman. We had never met Jim before, but we called his office, and to our surprise, had an appointment to meet with him immediately. He listened to our situation, and acted right away. He began drafting a bill that prevented nursing homes from evicting seniors who rely on Medicaid to pay the bills.Jim formed a bi-partisan coalition to work on the bill. Less than a year after we met with Congressman Davis, we were in the Oval Office watching President Bill Clinton sign a bill into law that protected any senior from being kicked out of a nursing home.Now Jim is running for Governor of Florida. We remember how he helped our family and we will do everything we can to help him in his campaign. We hope you will do the same and consider making a new contribution today, before the December 31 deadline.www.jimdavis2006.com/contributeTo this day, we are amazed and impressed that Congressman Davis not only took the time to meet with us and listen to us, but that he did something. He didn't just hold a hearing or write a letter, or issue a press release; he wrote a law that protects seniors from being kicked out of a nursing home. He actually fixed a problem that needed fixing and provided protection for millions of seniors and their families.Courage is tough to find in politics these days, and we know it when we see it. We see courage and strength in Jim Davis, the courage to stand up for what he believes and the strength to do what is right.Floridians of all ages face challenges each day of their lives. Whether it's a senior struggling to pay off a medical bill or a child struggling to learn in a crowded classroom, our state has some problems that need solving. We've seen that Jim understands that, and knows how to fix it. His leadership in doing what's right for Floridians has been an inspiration to us and our whole family.Before our mother got kicked out of her nursing home, we'd never met a congressman before or even thought much about politics. We never thought politicians could do much for us until we met Jim. Congressman Davis is a sincere and caring person who gets things done. He listens to the people and responds to their concerns. And this is why we are telling our story and supporting Jim Davis to be Florida's next governor.And in another first for us, we're asking you to help Jim by contributing to his campaign. Every dollar you contribute will go directly to show Floridians how Jim will be a governor who listens to the people and gets things done. Please take a few minutes out of your busy day and help us support Jim Davis. Please make a new contribution of $35, $50, $100, $250, even $500 or whatever you can by December 31.www.jimdavis2006.com/contributeSincerely,Nelson and Geri MongioviP.S. Please remember the December 31 deadline for making sure your contribution counts toward our total for the year. Please make a new contribution today of $35, $50, $100, $250, even $500, or whatever you can. www.jimdavis2006.com/contribute

Dear Floridians,
Ten years ago, my roommate Gina and I were brutally attacked in our Gainesville apartment. I narrowly survived. My roommate did not.
Nothing can ever bring my roommate, my friend, back to her friends and family. And nothing will ever erase the horror and fear that I will remember for the rest of my life.
But at the same time, nothing will ever make me forget the one person who fought on my behalf as tirelessly and relentlessly as any one person can fight to make certain that justice was done and to make certain that my roommate's killer, my attacker, could never again do to anyone else what he did to Gina and me.
The person I'm referring to is Rod Smith, who now is a candidate for governor. At the time of my attack, he was the State Attorney for the 8th judicial circuit, which includes Gainesville.
Rod stood with me during every difficult step along the way. He helped me find the courage and strength I needed to move forward. And he pursued the prosecution of my attacker with a level of commitment and persistence that I did not expect. Thanks to Rod Smith, the man who attacked me and killed my friend will never again set foot outside of a prison and will never again be a threat to innocent people.
I'm grateful to Rod Smith for what he did for me. But that is NOT why I am writing this letter. I'm writing it because I want you to know who Rod Smith is. I want you to know what I've come to understand about him:
The extraordinary thing to me about Rod Smith is not that he made a difference in my life. It's that he has made a difference in so many peoples lives. I can't begin to tell you how many people have stories about how Rod Smith, as a prosecutor, as a senator, as a lawyer committed to civil rights, or as just an ordinary citizen, stepped in to help them through difficult times when they were terminated from their job unfairly, when they were abused or neglected by authorities who were supposed to help, when their rights were being ignored.
Rod Smith was there for me when I needed him. But the point I'm trying to make is that my experience with Rod Smith is not unique. Rod Smith has filled his lifetime by being there for people, often complete strangers, who needed help. And when you combine that trait, that commitment to others, those core values with the effectiveness, intelligence and innate ability to lead that even his fiercest critics concede to him, you begin to recognize that he could indeed be a great governor.
I know Rod Smith better than most people will ever have a chance to know him. I will tell you this: Rod Smith represents an opportunity for the state of Florida and we should not waste it.
This Saturday (December 31) is the end of a crucial fundraising quarter, and Rod's campaign needs your help. I've already made a contribution to his campaign, and now I'm asking you to do so as well. Please click here to make a contribution of any size. It will be a great investment in the future of our state.
If you want to learn more about Rod, please go to his website and watch the video of the speech he gave to the state Democratic convention earlier this month. (You'll see me in the video, too, because I'm one of the people who introduced him.) Click here to watch it. If you are not ready to make a contribution now, I think you will be after you watch his speech.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my letter. Now I hope you will join me in helping to elect Rod governor.
With warm thanks,Jena Wilson
PS: I hope you will take the time to watch Rod's speech to the state Democratic convention earlier this month. Click here to watch it. You will see for yourself what an exceptional governor this man will be. And most importantly, please join me in contributing to his campaign before the fundraising quarter ends this Saturday.

You thought your day was hectic

2006-01-03T00:29:00.000-05:00

Overheard outside my local Chili's Restaurant today:

"We still have like six million things to do this week, including getting drunk tonight."

If you start with getting drunk, that may just take care of the rest.

Take a hint

2006-01-02T23:46:00.000-05:00

That's how many bottles of dye it took to get my hair looking this good.

Kerry Positioned for '08 White House Bid

Unfortunately that is not an Onion headline.

I have no doubt that Kerry was and continues to be a better choice than ol' Smirky McWarPants, but I also have not forgotten how long it took to convince myself to be excited about him. Politically as well I can't envision a bigger disaster. I'm not sure what spin machine he's concocted, but I can't even imagine how he could talk himself out of all the bombs lobbed in his direction in 2004, whether fair or otherwise.

The article mentions Adlai Stevenson as proof that Democrats cannot keep coming back - he lost twice to Eisenhower. I have a feeling that had much more to do with the candidates, especially Eisenhower. It then mentions Nixon having lost in 1960 but winning eight years later. Again I'm not so sure that proves anything about a Republican's ability to persevere; Nixon could have very well lost to another Kennedy had Robert not been assassinated.

I'm just not sure that any losing candidate can survive to campaign another day. Let's go back to McCain. The man is pretty well reviled by many conservatives, the conservatives he'll need to gain a nomination. A lot of those ill feelings could probably be traced to that positively vile race for the GOP nomination in 2000 when Bush's campaign managed to make a former prisoner of war seem unpatriotic (and to think people were shocked when he did the same to Kerry) when compared to Bush the National Guard Hero. I might be severely underestimating the Republicans but I cannot see the party coming together behind McCain even if he might be their best chance at keeping the presidency. I would hope that if they manage to pretend to that the Democrats would take that and run with it.

Ultimately Kerry still doesn't do anything for me or many others, and I'm not sure what he could possibly do to change that. What's most frightening is that he may still be the best thing the Democrats have, at least at this point. Yikes.

I couldn't resist

2006-01-02T23:24:00.000-05:00

So maybe I said there'd be no year in review. I also said no resolutions - one of those resolutions could have been not to lie. Besides I thought the poor timing of bringing it up two days into 2006 might absolve me.

But this isn't just any year in review. It's The Onion's Top Stories of 2005. And with headlines like "Pope Died as He Lived: Propped Up for Public Viewing" and "Brain-Dead Americans Defend Brain-Dead Florida Woman," it can't be bad. I love it when The Onion isn't afraid to be cleverly mean-spirited.

End the year on a good note and one more tag

2005-12-31T14:25:00.000-05:00

No year in review, no resolutions, no hangover (although if you have one, try this remedy)

Happy New Year!

End of game - NC State 14, USF 0

2005-12-31T14:12:00.000-05:00

Well that was something. First bowl game, first shutout.

My highlight of the game - and I had to look hard, other than the poor unsupported defense - was the commentary of Andre Ware. As far as I'm concerned he was as good as half the NFL color guys on any network.

He did have one questionable comment. After Pat Julmiste's interception Ware said the throw showed that Julmiste has a lot to learn as a quarterback.

What did the rest of the game say then, Andre? It seemed like every single decision Julmiste made was the exact wrong one, particularly running the ball on a 4th and long late in the game.

Was the Julmiste throwing the Gatorade shower on Chuck Amato? 0 for 2.

I sincerely hope USF is planning on starting Carlton Hill next year. They both have a lot to learn, but Hill has more time to do it. Heck, they could even run the option next year.

UCF loses on a missed extra point. Miami plays the worst half I can remember, possibly the worst game I can remember. USF gets shutout.

Good luck, FSU and UF.

More of the same:

Football
USF

End of 3rd Quarter - NC State 14, USF 0

2005-12-31T13:28:00.000-05:00

I think USF just turned the ball over during the 3rd quarter intermission.

What a beautiful quarter - I think anyone still watching is hoping Basscenter will come back on. Credit to the crew calling the game for making this game sound much more exciting than it is.

And yet again, the Bulls defense pulls off some miracles - that goal-line stand was amazing (although that was some USF-like play calling by NC State).

Oh look - now a missed field goal! Take 37 for the offense.

7:20 3rd quarter - NC State 14, USF 0

2005-12-31T13:07:00.000-05:00

So much for Carlton Hill. Two drives, two fumbles. The curse of the mobile quarterback - they never want to throw the ball away.

This defense has answered both times the Bulls had costly errors - blocked punt followed by three and out, fumble followed by fumble. Can they do it again?

But how many opportunities does the offense want before they actually do something? Andre Hall has had some huge plays, but the poor guy needs some help.

Halftime - NC State 14, USF 0

2005-12-31T12:19:00.000-05:00

What the heck was with NC State's lingering on the field at the end of the half. Did they forget football has two halves? Maybe that will fire up the Bulls - Lord knows they need something.

Promising drives with no scoring - that's becoming an unfortunate trademark for USF. We haven't seen one of those atrocious goal-line stumbles, but we haven't gotten that far either.

And I'd love to say that USF needs to stop being conservative before the deficit gets bigger, but that would mean Julmiste throwing the ball. I'd love for him to prove me wrong, but he had most of the year to do that. If Leavitt is even thinking about playing Carlton Hill, the first drive of the second half might be the time.

Why is it that USF always tosses in a few successful option plays early and then seems to forget it's even in their playbook?

And as usual, the first couple of drives in the second half could very well decide the whole game for USF. NC State doesn't score much on offense, so if USF can get even the slightest thing going they could certainly make a comeback. This looks like the West Virginia game, but NC State is not West Virginia.

8:13 2nd quarter - NC State 7, USF 0

2005-12-31T12:01:00.000-05:00

So much for dominant defense. Looks like the Wolfpack offense realized that they need quick passes to keep their QB from being hit so much. And one of NC State's running backs looks great.

Hold your breath - time to see how Julmiste reacts to being behind.

End of 1st Quarter - USF 0, NC State 0

2005-12-31T11:33:00.000-05:00

So THAT's where Andre Ware ended up. Nice to see he's getting work.

It only took a few minutes for South Florida to be called "UFS," by token woman on the sidelines Heather Mitts. (Note: 18 years ago Tampa Bay area newscaster Gayle Sierens became the first woman to call an NFL game - what are the chances that will happen now?)

I'm already sick of George Foreman.

Wouldn't you know it - the offense looks creative. Julmiste looks just about average - all we can ask. Hall looks good. So far this is the perfect offense to keep the Wolfpack's killer defensive ends from killing us.

As for the defense, they are reliably great - today so far they look dominant. The blocked punt by NC State looked like the kind of big play made bigger in a probably low scoring game. The resulting offensive possession? Three and out. The front seven for the Bulls looks much more dominant thant the ballyhooed NC State front.

Now USF just has to get some points out of this promising offense. The West Viriginia had some promising drives early, too.

Bear got laid

2005-12-31T02:22:00.000-05:00

Or something like that.

To Bitch Lab (tag), in reference to her post on TTLB's missing links (I'm on fire!):

Two of your links are now showing on my TTLB stats. That did not however prevent me being downgraded from Crawly Amphibian to Flippery Fish.

Maybe Stephen Colbert is right about bears. Bastards.

Bulls at eleven

2005-12-31T02:14:00.000-05:00

I had a whole post written about the Bulls' game. Then my laptop shut itself off. And to think I had recently marvelled at my computer's performance at almost three years old.

So now I don't feel like rewriting it. My wisdom will be lost forever.

Anyhow, I had picked NC State in the post that never was. I'm going to take this as a sign - no, not a sign that I need a new computer. I'm going to let team bias take over - USF 20, NC State 16.

But as long as USF doesn't get pummelled like the Hurricanes, or shamefully miss an extra point like UCF, I'll be happy.

Where breathing is a pleasure

2005-12-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

I'm usually not one to medicate when not feeling well, but when I'm trying to sleep enough to hopefully feel better for work the next day I'll usually down something. Nyquil is officially right out; two nights ago confirmed what I had hoped was a fluke last time I used the stuff - that the only effect Nyquil has on me is leaving me wide awake in bed, wondering why I can't get that horrible taste out of my mouth.

My usual medicine of choice is Thera-Flu. I like drinking the hot liquids when I'm sick, and it does always manage to alleviate symptoms just enough to allow me to fall asleep.

Last night I went into the medicine cabinet in search of the Thera-Flu, but instead found the Publix brand equivalent - Maximum Strength Flu, Severe Cold & Congestion, Nighttime Formula.

Catchy.

I know plenty of people cannot stomach the taste of Thera-Flu. For some reason I not only don't mind it but find it oddly pleasing. Publix's FSCC tastes not unlike a six year old's chemistry-set-attempt at recreating the flavor of Thera-Flu.

You know what; cleverness can't save this one.

It tastes like butt.

And to further the damage, it did nothing to ameliorate my symptoms or make me drowsy. In fact I am pretty sure I felt worse, butt taste aside. But what else could I expect from a product that promises flu, severe cold and congestion?

Several lost hours and toohbrushings later I decided it was time for action. In the same cabinet was a bottle of codeine cough syrup my wife was prescribed several months ago. I didn't have a cough, but God bless codeine - I was out in no time.

This morning I woke up with maximum strength congestion, the type that feels like a Michael Bay movie in your sinuses. I was also feeling rather groggy, no doubt a codeine hangover. I decided to stay home, managed to spend most of the day staring at the wall.

I still have three Publix FSCC packets left and feel masochistically compelled to use them rather than throw them away. Perhaps it's out of fear that pilgrim salt and pepper shakers will come after me in my sleep. Good thing I won't be sleeping much tonight.

Mad man never go "pop" like snot bubbles

- Madvillain, "All Caps"

Bloggers return

2005-12-28T22:38:00.000-05:00

Two local bloggers are back from some time away.

Shortly after I discovered it on the St. Pete Times' blog page and added it to my blogroll, The Jillabuster Blog seemed to come to a halt. Jill posted on Christmas after almost a month; hopefully she'll be able able to find some time in a busy schedule to post more regularly.

And Peter Schorsch is back at Saint Petersblog after some time to "genuinely reflect." He was profiled rather negatively in a recent St. Pete Times story, a story he has no use for. He is moving on with his life and hopes you can join him, as long as you're not just out to get him.

FL governor's race e-mail newsletter update

2005-12-28T21:27:00.000-05:00

Still nothing from either Gop candidate, although Charlie Crist's campaign has apparently been busy sending spam. Did I do something?

Rod Smith has sent two messages, although the second one was simply to correct a mistake in the first one, referring to "former Republican Governor Mel Martinez" (try Bob, Rod).

Jim Davis' e-mails, like most episodes of "Will and Grace," are quite cameo-laden. I had already received a message from Bob Graham; we can now add Rhea Chiles (widow, not adopted daughter) and Jennifer O'Malley Davis, who lamely suggested that a donation to the campaign would be the perfect Christmas present - "no assembly required."

Extra points to Davis for the lovely Christmas card.

Perfect Christmas present? How about shoes and sunglasses?

"Snark, sass and destruction" - now with more snark

2005-12-28T20:12:00.000-05:00

Admit it; you feel a void now that Christmas is over. How will we cope without a right-wing, journalistic Chicken Little act?

Thank you, Kathleen Parker, for Lord of the blogs.

Ms. Parker, the syndicated columist - the mercenary of the journalism world - has declared a war on bloggers. Alright - maybe not so much a war.

We can't silence them, but for civilization's sake - and the integrity of information by which we all live or die - we can and should ignore them.

My my, those are harsh words. Particularly harsh from the same woman who says this in the same column:

I've been a blog fan since the beginning, and have written favorably about the value added to journalism and public knowledge thanks to the new "citizen journalist"

Eh?

Within the column she does make a distinction between bloggers worth her time and bloggers that are a danger to civilization.

I mean no disrespect to the many brilliant people out there - professors, lawyers, doctors, philosophers, scientists and other journalists who also happen to blog...

Sorry I'm not a professional philosopher. Still, how pragmatic of you.

...But we should beware and resist the rest of the ego-gratifying rabble who contribute only snark, sass and destruction.

There we go. Destruction is the least you should expect from a danger to civilization. (I might add that Ms. Parker is I hope referring specifically to political commentary blogs. I'd be curious to find the danger in, say, Shutterblog - tag!)

There's more.

They play tag team with hyperlinks ("I'll say you're important if you'll say I'm important) and shriek "Gotcha!" when they catch some weary wage earner in a mistake or oversight.

By the way, thanks to Dave at spacecoastweb for alerting me to this column. Tag!

This is starting to sound personal. Bring it home, Kat!

Bloggers persist no matter their contributions or quality, though most would have little to occupy their time were the mainstream media to disappear tomorrow. Some bloggers do their own reporting, but most rely on mainstream reporters to do the heavy lifting.

Blogs can do the heavy lifting sometimes too. Tag!

My guess is that there will be a lot of bloggers opining on your column, Kathleen. There's a good chance this was precisely the idea behind you writing this, you attention-starved minx you. Either way you should know by now that bloggers are probably the mainstream media's most reliable customer. You guys give us such priceless material.

Kathleen is smart enough to know the unreliable media argument is coming.

That a Jayson Blair of The New York Times or a Jack Kelley of USA Today surfaces now and then as a plagiarist or a fabricator ultimately is testament to the high standards tens of thousands of others strive to uphold each day without recognition. Blair and Kelley are infamous, but they're also gone.

Fair enough. I'll be the first to admit that traditional journalists have a much more verifiable batting average than the rabble.

Here's the most priceless metaphor in the piece.

Each time I wander into blogdom, I'm reminded of the savage children stranded on an island in William Golding's "Lord of the Flies." Without adult supervision, they organize themselves into rival tribes, learn to hunt and kill, and eventually become murderous barbarians in the absence of a civilizing structure.

Supervision is precisely what a blog, even an irresponsible one, can and should be for the media. I'd like to think we can leave journalists to their own policing, but I have absolute no faith in them anymore. Had anyone outside the extreme left raised even the slightest question about why we were invading Iraq I might be willing to give credit. But even the networks now criticized for only reporting the bad in Iraq couldn't help themselves when they smelled the ratings of war. Strap on your boots and night-vision goggle - let's get embedded! It just so happens that a lot of the media now asking questions about this administration are probably just still chasing ratings. That doesn't mean their questions aren't without merit - I just doubt the intention.

The point is that while blogging can certainly be inaccurate it is still the expression of the populace, and most importantly a voice without a weekly paycheck. I doubt that most blogs save for wildly popular ones like Daily Kos (tag!) incur much in the way of living wages. It's amazing how liberating moonlighting can be.

Is it narcissistic? Sure (self-tag!). But doesn't that go for all writing? Calling yourself a "weary wage earner" doesn't change anything, other than cement the boohooness of the whole column. The idea behind bloggers eviscerating every little mistake journos make might be a little bit about Schadenfreude, but don't let the ego-tripping get out of hand. If people - including the media - take everything they read in blogs seriously, that's no fault of ours. Why not celebrate the addition of this still infant medium to the wide range of information available to all of us? Put it all together and come to your own conclusion. It's a beautiful thing.

That said, for our sake we should all ignore Kathleen Parker.

Snarky.

Goodbye small hands
Goodbye small heart
Goodbye small head
My soul is climbing tree trunks
And swinging from every branch

- Sleater-Kinney, "Get Up"

Take 7

2005-12-28T01:35:00.000-05:00

The Village Voice released their Take 7 poll, a survey of many film critics' favorites of the year. The #1 film was "A History of Violence", one of about five movies I saw at theatres all year. I even made an attempt at reviewing it.

An essay by head movie critic J. Hoberman points out the death of mass-appeal films, as there is nary a commercially driven, let alone commercially successful, film near the top films. Well, unlike the Voice's much more democratic Pazz & Jop music poll (this year's should come out sometime in February) it seems to me like the majority of critics polled in Take 7 and past polls are probably none too concerned about the dire state of the mainstream. The list is usually very foreign-centric, with a predictable obsession with China and Hong Kong. I'm not sure that this poll can be trusted to provide any kind of authentic evidence of the state of Hollywood.

Hoberman might be the worst of them. I rarely have the patience for his dense, how many French phrases can I impress you with style (Robert Christgau, the Voice's head music critic is dense but at least has something to say under there somewhere). In fact despite my tendency towards movie snobbery I often seek out what he pans and avoid what he praises. It just so happens that he thought "A History of Violence" was pretty darn good - I may have to rethink my opinion.

But if you're looking for movies that more than likely never played in Tampa - despite the best efforts of both Sunrise Cinemas and Tampa Theatre - you might find a film or two you'll be happy you chose over Grandma's Boy.

Break

2005-12-28T00:50:00.000-05:00

A combination of a new Xbox racing game, the surround system that I still haven't finished installing thanks to --> and sudden allergy-like symptoms are keeping me pretty blogless.

Is anyone else tired of reviewing the year? Everyone's going to get hammered on New Year's Eve to forget this year anyway, so why rehash it?

The picture? Do I ever need a reason?

War is over

2005-12-26T00:11:00.000-05:00

What will Bill O'Reilly whine about now that Christmas is over? I'm sure he'll think of something.

The materialism was a success this year. I finally have a surround sound system to go with the big-screen TV, although I'm much too tired to mess with countless wires right now. And I doubt the neighbors would appreciate me testing out the sound.

My wife is already obsessed with her Nintendo DS and Nintendogs:Dachshund & Friends. She always had a pet growing up (dogs, rabbits, horses), but we both agree an apartment is no place for a dog, at least not the size we want (no little yappy dogs). This was a strange but successful compromise.

Yes, my 25 year old kindergarten teacher wife is playing with her virtual pet, and loving every minute of it. And I love every minute of her. I swear we're mature, enough.

Web design for web design's sake

2005-12-25T01:03:00.000-05:00

Second only to the Musee D'Orsay in Paris (see my header), the Design Museum in London was my favorite museum experience from our honeymoon, and we are big museum-hoppers - I figure at least fourteen during the two weeks we spent in Paris, London and Barcelona. Certainly the modern feel of the place was a welcome respite from all the antiquities and masters we saw the rest of the time. Formula One cars, Tomb Raider, rock albums, coffeemakers - they had it all in a stylish building along the Thames near the very antique Tower Bridge.

One of the first three links I ever included here was Nobody Here, which was featured at the Design Museum. I checked it out again recently. It's not an open-ended affair - more of a permanent art installation piece. You can get lost in there, but it's a blast.

Run the mouse cursor over each link along the top of the page and watch the man at the computer go into action. You can download your own fish cursor - there are a lot of fish. The E-cards are fun, particularly the disturbing tweezer card.

My favorite feature is the stream of consciousness to the right of the man at the computer. Click each word and the absurdism grows deeper, funnier and yet still more confounding. Short-short stories, more fun with Flash, positively bizarre photo doctoring - it's probably what a Bunuel/Dali collaboration would look like today, only without the prevailing sexual obsession.

The inevitable life in perspective moment

2005-12-24T02:17:00.000-05:00

(If you don't want to be bummed out for the holidays, feel free to skip this post)

I came home tonight ready to tell my wife about the marginally successful evening I had playing poker at the casino. My news immediately became irrelevant when she gave me the news that one of her best friends - she's named after my wife's grandmother, she gave a toast at our wedding - had been in a horrible car accident. She is alive, and apparently quite fortunate to be so.

Based on what we know she had stopped at a red light but the car behind her did not. But rather than the typical tap when someone misses a red light, the car behind her was going full speed and obviously wasn't prepared to stop. She is in intensive care right now although doctor's are giving her a good chance to survive. That said, she did suffer a bruised spine, several broken vertebrae - one of which was so severely crushed that the doctors had to pick the pieces out to remove it completely. She has had an iron rod inserted into her back, a rod which will almost completely limit her ability to move her head up and down. Thankfully she doesn't seem to be facing paralysis, although her hands have not been responding well. She could be in the hospital for a month; after that she will undergo a year's worth of physical therapy and rehabilitation. She can't go back to work for a year.

This woman is one of the most outgoing people I have ever met. She works very hard, the only way she knows how. As is often the case with hard-working, outgoing types she's also a bit high-strung and restless. The fate she is staring down is not one I would wish on anyone, but she is that much more unequipped for a life so limited by her own body. She is fortunate to have a husband that does love her and is very much time type that could handle having to help her do just about everything, but that doesn't help make the whole situation any less horrifying.

Added to the ache I feel for these people and the joy I feel for the arbitrary fortune/blessing of my own life, I'm not sure I ever want to set foot in a car ever again. I'd like to think most car accidents are quite avoidable, but what do you do when a car slams into you at a red light? Even if you looked in the rear-view mirror and saw it happening, there's nothing you could actually do to remove yourself from harm's way. But tomorrow I'll get in my car. And the next day.

Pay attention.

Another reason to hate the Yankees

2005-12-23T14:40:00.000-05:00

They took Jesus away!

Will the fighting ever stop?

2005-12-23T02:55:00.000-05:00

This Christmas boondoggle is getting worse every day. Not even the Biblical traditions of Santa Claus are safe.

Broadcast network UPN's "Everybody Hates Chris" recently aired an episode in which a character told his younger sister that Santa Claus was a fake.

Everybody knows there's no Santa Claus. Come here, let me show you something. I'm taking you to the toys ... Santa doesn't come down the chimney. We don't even have a chimney. We have radiators.

Sharp writing aside, UPN received some complaints about the line. Apparently parents aren't about to have television make liars out of them by filling their children with crazy notions about Santa's mythical nature.

"My wife told him it was just a TV show and to ignore it," show co-creator Ali LeRoi said. "It worked. He believes her. Kids trust their parents that way."

Maybe it was that my parents thankfully never tried to pull this one on me, but I am very sure that at the age of six Santa Claus' existence was never part of my belief system. And yet to this day I am able to enjoy Christmas to its fullest extent, minus Manheim Steamroller which isn't really music at all.

On the show, young Tonya becomes a lot more cynical. Her mother explains that Santa Claus is a symbol and asks: "So you do understand?"
"Yeah," the girl replies. "It's OK to lie."

Pretty good stuff. I may have to start watching this show.

Champagne wishes and congressional dreams

2005-12-20T17:53:00.000-05:00

Yessiree, these are my fat-cat pants.

The 2004 elections were the first time I ever donated any amount of money to a political campaign, a very small amount to the ill-fated Kerry camp. It took some deliberation for me to finally part with that money, not because of any uncertainty about the candidate (though that was certainly there) but because I was uncertain of how my money would actually be used. In the end I decided that even if the money went to "administrative fees" or boxes of staples, it was still money being put to good use.

Apparently my pitiful altruism is not shared by some who donate money to politicians.

"I guess it's almost an automatic fifty bucks to anybody who's on my side," said George Wrenn, a retired architectural historian from Freedom, N.H.

That's a quote from a man that donated $50 to one of Tom DeLay's many political groups, in response to a report that DeLay's fund-raising machine has provided the Texas congressman quite the luxurious life: world-class resorts, four-star restaurants, PGA golf courses, corporate jets.

Before anyone thinks this is just another lefty lambasting of the right, I absolutely do not doubt that extravagant living is a bipartisan activity. It just so happens that DeLay has rarely faced a formidable opponent for his congressional seat, so his warchest is rarely even dented during campaigns. And he's decided his exhausting fund-raising schedule necessitates some "relaxation."

I sincerely hope that the attitude taken by the quoted donor is in the minority. As usual my hopes are sad as a three-legged puppy. If DeLay's legal troubles even manage to penetrate through the all the good news coming out of the White House - oh snicker - I doubt that these examples of shameless waste will awaken anyone but the already awake. Everyone else will either continue to not care or refuse to even consider that their precious Hammer could do anything wrong. And John McCain's principles, which forbid him from sailing along with the currently dominant wing of the Republican party, will continue to render his efforts for campaign finance reform useless.

While my time is much more valuable than my money, at least my time can't be stashed away for a vacation to Jamaica and $35 bouillabaisse. Let my cynicism overcome me, but if I feel moved by any particular campaign it'll be just time - not another drop in the bucket from me.

Hockey bids for attention, confuses itself for football

2005-12-19T22:57:00.000-05:00

With some time before the George Foreman Bowl and no real point in discussing my favorite NFL team (at least we didn't get shutout by the Patriots - I'm going to hear it for that), it's been a while since I went down the sports route.

That said I couldn't help but notice the scoreboard tonight and see the Toronto/NY Islanders game. 9-6 - wow. Oddly enough the game finally gave Ed Belfour his 448th win, leaving him all alone as the second winnigest goalie in NHL history. What a way to win.

Google, Korea and Kanye's mom

2005-12-19T18:17:00.000-05:00

I recently spoke of my obsession with Google Earth, Google's spy movie satellite imagery program. Fortunately there are others much more obsessed.

Consider a story in the Village Voice about Google Earth user Popenyc, who has compiled an exhaustive database of "Hip Hop Places," from "Eminem's Childhood Home" (pictured above) to "Kanye West Mom's New House," which proves Kanye is every bit the mama's boy he sounds like on record.

But of course someone has to go and ruin the fun. South Korea has officially complained to the US about pictures of different military sites in that country. Come on, North Korea hasn't even complained (yet) - who do you think you are?

Let MSN be your guide

2005-12-19T17:53:00.000-05:00

My new favorite search that led to ...BEEHO. Someone in South Carolina went to MSN and searched this:

What does integrity mean to me?

Poor confused soul.

The search led them to this post. I doubt that helped much.

In case you were wondering, the first two hits on MSN for said search provided:

Men of Integrity - "helping men be the godly men God called us to be" (redundant? repetitive?)
The Myth of Data Integrity - "Stored procedures and all things that make your database clever are evil," says David Heinemeier Hansson.

No wonder he ended up with me, hit #20. Good luck, Goose Creek - may you find the answers you need.

...BEEHO needs your help

2005-12-18T23:56:00.000-05:00

I wanted to put this picture in my last post but the innumerable amount of punchlines overwhelmed me (I was leaning to something about his wind-forecasting skills). Besides, I'm afraid I might be overplaying his finger fixation (Clinton did have the thumb).

Please comment with your suggestions.

Bush: blah blah blah

2005-12-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

The White House ran another rerun of that same Bush speech from the last six years. I think it might have been a director's cut, because I did think I noticed a few deleted lines: things about "responsibility," which I know I haven't heard before. And like most deleted scenes, they added nothing to the overall story.

Like I did with another of Bush's recent speeches, I'm not sure there's much to be said (certainly not anything that wasn't already said by other area bloggers).

One particularly ironic line did catch my attention:

We continue to see violence and suffering, caused by an enemy that is determined and brutal -- unconstrained by conscience or the rules of war.

To borrow a line from Friends: Oh, hello, kettle? This is the President. You're black (I certainly make a case for my political commentary to be taken seriously when I quote NBC sitcoms).

Oh that's right - We do not torture.

This is what the critics of Bush's critics don't seem to understand. We do want America to succeed. That's precisely why we don't want this guy running the show. How can we expect anyone to listen when we are so two-faced in everything we say/do? This is all about perception. So this war is about sacrifice? Why didn't we sacrifice Rummy after the Abu-Ghraib disaster? Do you really think prosecuting a couple of grunts was going to make us look like we were sorry? Heck, I don't care if it really was just a couple of loose cannons - and I don't believe that for one second. Firing Rumsfeld would send a message to critics and to the world that we were trying to change.

I say were because it's probably too late. Much like everything else around Washington these days - that's you too, Democrats. If you acted sooner than months before you just toss words around, we might actually believe you. Taking responsibility now, especially in a back-handed way, means positively nothing - it's just sandbagging.

Lousy economy

2005-12-18T22:23:00.000-05:00

My blog is worth $1,129.08.
How much is your blog worth?

Almost a month ago ...BEEHO was worth over a grand more. And this after already receiving three hits yesterday related to my Jennifer Aniston post from Friday. Costa is right - girl's are where it's at, blogging-wise.

He's also right that it would get pretty boring after a while. And I'm not sure that I'm that desperate for an audience.

Still no Joanna Kerns hits. Maybe I should have gone with Meredith Baxter.

Old people have all the fun

2005-12-18T20:39:00.000-05:00

On different occasions several months ago my wife and I applied online to become poll workers for Hillsborough County elections. Both of us had been inspired to volunteer after I had a pretty lousy experience at the polls in 2004, an experience created by inept, irrational, cantankerous poll workers that seemed quite sure that anyone younger than they were - namely everyone - deserved no respect. Fortunately that day was the only poor experience I've had during my admittedly short voting life. Most of the time the poll workers are perfectly pleasant people, if maybe a tad slow.

Still it struck us that working the polls need not be a job left to retirees. The requirements are pretty simple - be registered, be literate. The classes are pretty short. And I doubt that it's hard for many of us to get a day off on that Tuesday, particularly with a valid excuse such as this. Apart from regulation that married couple cannot work the same precinct, we were excitedly awaiting the mailed packet that they told us would come after we applied.

Several months later and no packet. Perhaps there's an age minimum that's not advertised. Young people - they'll probably want to come in and change the system! Just lose their packet.

I wasn't blogging at the time I applied, but since then I thought that the experience might even prove to be a great topic. I guess I'll have to keep writing about mannequin sex. I wonder how many search engine hits that will get me.

Merii Kurisumasu

2005-12-18T18:35:00.000-05:00

Because I'm still loyal to the 35mm world, this is simply a close representation of our Christmas tree this year.

Thanks to a combination of laziness, busy weeks and laziness, the wife and I had neglected to get a Christmas tree. With a week to go we were having trouble justifying the whole Christmas tree rigmarole. Bah humbug, huh?

While at my in-laws for our usual Sunday lunch, two of our better friends came over to do an early gift exchange. We got them memberships to MOSI, which I do believe were quite a hit. I got season one of Scrubs, which with the departure of Arrested Development from either Fox or TV in general will soon become my favorite show on the networks (as long as they don't cancel it too). But the biggest hit of the exchange was my wife's present, a bonsai tree courtesy of the fine folks at Eve's Garden Gifts.

Best of all it came decorated not unlike the tree pictured above. A great gift and a solution to our yulelessness. And to top it off I'm sure Bill O'Reilly would not approve of our Japanafication of Christmas. Now we just need to find some tiny gifts.

And we'll be doing the airplane wheel
Dancing

- Cornershop, "Funky Days Are Back Again"

Bold prediction

2005-12-17T18:09:00.000-05:00

From a rating of the upcoming Meineke Car Care Bowl between USF and NC State, on CBS Sportsline:

Get an early look at the 2006 Big East champions...

Really? Did they watch what West Virginia did to us? I'm not sure even I'm that optimistic. Still, it's nice to see we haven't completely disappeared off the national radar.

Focus, ye prudes

2005-12-16T23:45:00.000-05:00

My hair will never leave me for another woman.

The hubbub over the latest round of paparazzi photos of a topless Jennifer Aniston has reminded me of something only vaguely related.

A month or so ago I was dialing around the digital cable when I noticed The Good Girl was on the Joanna Kerns Channel. I had seen the movie long before and had enjoyed it, so I thought I'd tune in and see how it did on repeat viewing.

To summarize ever so briefly, Aniston plays a married woman who has a brief affair with a younger co-worker. The scene of their first dalliance, although played mostly bittersweet laughs, is graphic enough to have helped the movie earn an R rating. The sex is fairly vigorous, with clumsily forceful movement and some moaning from Ms. Aniston. A sheet covers them from the waist down, but you do get a few fleeting glimpses of her nipple, although the angle, lighting and brevity of the shots make it just as likely that it's shadow or maybe a bug. The scene is key to both the plot and the overall mood of the movie, so I was curious to see how the censors would handle it.

The entire scene aired in its entirety. But before you start applauding Lifetime for bucking the puritanical trends, I should mention that they did blur out her maybe-nipple. In other words, if it is indeed the children we're trying to protect: Hump like bunnies, but keep your top on.

It's quickly dawning on me that this post is going to inspire more search engine hits than any other (Stephen Colbert searches being the most common to this point), and that most of those people will very quickly click back and not come back. I am going to disappoint a lot of Joanna Kerns fans.

Things to make your head shake

2005-12-16T23:28:00.000-05:00

Overheard in the line to sell books back at USF (paraphrased for lack of proper memory):

CUSTOMER: So when I sell my books, does the money go back on my credit card or do I get cash?

EMPLOYEE: You get cash.

CUSTOMER: Can I use it anywhere?

Is it a draw for privacy?

2005-12-16T22:51:00.000-05:00

Round 1: Senate blocks ~~Kneejerk~~ Patriot Act. It seems like we're slowly waking from our 9/11-induced paranoia. Just as long as we don't sink back into the naivete of thinking that we're bulletproof, that's a good thing. This is also a sign that the Democrats actually believe that they can accomplish something in 2006, which means they might. This to me is much more significant than the kerfuffle over Reid's closed-door session. How's that probe coming, by the way?

Round 2: Bush defends policy after eavesdropping report. It's interesting to me that despite the long amount of time that this story has been brewing - the New York Times apparently wanted to scoop this story a year ago, but instead deferred to requests from the White House that the story remain unpublished for the sake of national security - the White House seems pretty unprepared to respond. Instead of the usual bluster, all we've had are a few mentions of the policies still falling under the administrations interests to "uphold the law."

I'll take round 1 unanimously. Round 2 is up in the air. If this official turns out to be telling the truth, we probably shouldn't be surprised by any of this. Still, the thought of it is pretty alarming. The payoff will be in whether or not anything comes of this. If the story is buried - I smell a terror alert - then we definitely have some work to do. But if more information turns up to possibly corroborate this story and the whole things festers - we may have them on the ropes.

And by them I of course mean the Man.

Creating balance

2005-12-16T20:58:00.000-05:00

It should be pretty obvious to everyone at this point that I'm more liberal than anything. But in the spirit of my proud independent status, as well as the fact that I'm certainly not all liberal, I've been trying to sprinkle in some conservative blogs in my blogroll.

While I've found plenty of pages I only visit out of curiosity and what must be a masochistic streak (no links provided because I promised), I must say that upon some inspection PEER Review has proven to be fairly astute and (so-far) only rarely off-putting.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going try to resist watching the O'Reilly Factor (no link provided because he's a tool).

Reports from the e-campaign front for Florida governor

2005-12-15T01:06:00.000-05:00

Several days ago I signed up for e-mail updates/newsletters from the websites of the four major candidates for governor of Florida. Here's an update:

Charlie Crist - no e-mail confirmation, no updates
Tom Gallagher - no e-mail confirmation, no updates
Jim Davis - no e-mail confirmation, one update (Bob Graham speaking about the recent Florida Democrat Conference)
Rod Smith - three e-mail confirmations (admittedly I did technically sign up three times, only because I was presented with an error page each time I clicked submit), no updates

Extra point to Rod Smith for the cute state of Florida icon that appears next to the link to his page on my Explorer Favorites folder.

Toys for (pretentious) grown-ups

2005-12-14T22:35:00.000-05:00

80 years of intellectual journalism and befuddling punchlines - usually with talking dogs.

It's been a few years since I gave myself a significant Christmas present, mostly for lack of ideas not too significant (we'll wait until the XBox 360 is cheaper, and glitch-free). With the added incentive of a significant employee discount, this year was too easy.

I'm now the proud owner of The Complete New Yorker, 8 DVD-ROM's containing 4,109 issues of the magazine since its first issue on February 21, 1925. And it's not just the text, but every cover, illustration, ad, bizarre cartoon (bravo to McSweeney's for skewering them perfectly) - it's all here for my immersion.

Obviously the right audience will fawn over this exhaustive library. But how's the packaging, the interface? They've been working on this for a while, and it shows. Search options are all you could ask for: filter by author, "department," year or issue. When you find the article you're looking for within the search results, click it and viewer will prompt you to insert the correct disc. You can browse by cover - click a cover and you'll be presented with the table of contents. Find an article you like, click it and it'll take you to the story exactly as it appeared in print. From there you can zoom - just click the left-mouse button; you can click-drag in zoom mode to move around the page. In flip mode, a click of the right-mouse button will turn the page for you.

My first search, being the proud Tampan (yes, for you out-of-towners, that's what they call us) that I am, was for mentions of "Tampa." The oldest mention was from the Talk of the Town section of the November 25, 1944 issue (cover price, 15 cents). It gave a story of a Tampa woman whose husband was a lieutenant serving in Italy. She wrote her husband in worry that she would not be a priority to receive a telephone (one of a thousand details of wartime that boggle my mind); he then sent her a phone from Italy, which the Southern Bell Telephone and Telegraph Company of Florida was happy to install. The writer (the section is credited to both Robert Hale and E.B. White - yes, that E.B. White) was worried about the precedent this chivalry was setting, a precedent that could prove to be "the greatest provocation to mass lawbreaking since Prohibition."

Pithy. But that may be what makes the The New Yorker so unique. Eighty years later, despite the astronomical changes in media and communication, the magazine has not changed much at all. It's still a magazine for reading, for readers. Bless them for sticking to it. Curse them for giving me another excuse not to leave the house.

Sherlock, constipated

2005-12-14T22:13:00.000-05:00

Gotta stop smashing my chin into the microphones.

Our President continues his mastery of the obvious.

Bush accepts responsibility for Iraq invasion. Almost three years later. Responsible? The leader or our nation, the man that sold this war to us? Well I'll be.

And I thought his acceptance of responsibility for the Katrina fiasco was ill-timed. Have I just become that much more jaded to the spin, or is this really that pathetic a cry for support? See, I said it. I'm dancing just like you want me to. Please don't make fun of me anymore.

I know it's not just me, because you can find plenty of criticism of Bush in arenas that once were lodged firmly in the upper regions of his gastric system. Certainly it's easier to jump ship when he's a lame duck and things aren't looking so rosy for 2006, but man I'll take anything right now.

But let's not ignore the timing of this poor attempt at accountability. There are elections taking place in Iraq right now. Though few will protest the fact that we're trying to hold elections in a country that is still extremely unstable, it's hard to not be happy for the Iraqi people and the relative progress in which they find themselves. My guess is the spin will sound something like this: Darn right he's taking responsibility - responsibility for a job well done (mission accomplished, even).

Either that or we'll get some sort of terror alert soon. Nothing gets the bad news off the headlines like the ol' fear-mongering.

The unasked question of growth

2005-12-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

~~Tommy~~ Kate, fantastic fellow contributor over at the Sticks (and also of Out in Left Field), recently highlighted a problem to which most everyone in this area (and the entire state) is hyper-aware, our less than satisfactory education system. Everyone knows something is wrong, but no one can seem to agree on how to fix it. Is it limiting class sizes, the FCAT, money, parental responsibility?

Today Tommy gave us a predictably well-put critique of our bumbling board of county commissioners in regards to their apparent ambivalence towards the question of public transportation.

In both cases I don't see that there's any doubt about the root source of our troubles. Tampa (and Florida) are growing wildly, with education and transportatipn both buckling in an attempt to support the growth. Kathy Castor, often the sole voice of reason on the BOCC, had a crazed solution to the problem: don't build until the area can support it.

The concept of zero-growth is normally applied to population and environmental issues. While that is certainly a valid correlation, I think the concept of zero-growth can be better utilized on a local level. How conservative of me.

But no matter the scale, human hubris makes the idea of zero-growth so ridiculous as to rarely even merit discussion. No matter what side of the political fence they occupy, presidents of this country always use economic growth as a sign that their policies are working. I don't doubt that even in the most dire of national situations you could always glean some growth from the myriad numbers used to determine that status. But rarely does anyone ask, "Is that a good thing?"

I think we have a hard time admitting to that we can be bound by factors outside of our control (need more land? Shove the Indians aside - it's destiny). Certainly population and economic growth are still nowhere as dangerous a problem here as they already are in many parts of Asia, where increasing population in already dangerous geography make devastating natural disasters (the tsunami, earthquakes in Kashmir, Iran, etc.) nearly Biblical. But that's precisely why we should take the opportunity of our still advantageous position to address this issue and arrive at sensible solutions.

Dream
Dream dream dream

- The Everly Brothers, "All I Have to Do is Dream"

Bubble boy

2005-12-13T00:18:00.000-05:00

Wow. Fingers.

So despite the pathetically scripted nature of his "town-hall meetings," his own admission to "rarely read[ing] the stories" in the news and his famous aversion to any type of criticism or bad news, Pres. Bush said in an interview that he's not in a bubble.

Actually he said "I don't feel in a bubble." Bless him and his Strunk&Whiteless speech.

I wonder if he knows about this little nugget?

Unemployment is rough

2005-12-12T23:53:00.000-05:00

Who shall I alienate today?

While his former teammates lost all hope of making the playoffs, Terrell Owens enjoyed a star-saturated party in celebration of his 32nd birthday. Included among the guests were 11 former teammates. Like that locker room needed a little more tension.

Some highlights from the article: (bring the block quotes!)

The party invitations arrived last week and were shaped like a penalty flag. They read: "There's a flag on the play? After further review, No. 81 is at it again."

Scantily clad women wearing different colored No. 81 jerseys with question marks representing the team name provided some of the entertainment for the guests.

And yes, Paris Hilton was there. Not so much because she's required by law to be present at every party, but because she wanted to support a fellow mostly undeserving newsmaker.

Meanwhile Owens' raving lunatic of an agent Drew Rosenhaus recently was fired as Green Bay Packer Javon Walker's agent. Rumor has it that Owens is considering dropping Rosenhaus as well.

Now that's a guy who needs to be unemployed. Worst of all he's another reason I feel guilty for being a Miami Hurricanes fan - he's an alumnus.

Sorry, Drew - I think you may be too sleazy for even Paris to show for your birthday party.

Pantsed - Crashing the blogosphere, part III

2005-12-12T19:17:00.000-05:00

Lest I still think no one notices the ol' ...BEEHO, it seems that the person in charge of online operations for Jim Davis' gubernatorial campaign stumbled onto my post about the campaign site.

And like a good blogger should, he posted accordingly.

Assuming Mr. Davis checks up on his site, now the possible future governor of this state knows I made fun of his tie.

I guess I could have said worse. Now I really hope Crist isn't elected. So when I said I wasn't sure what Davis' blog meant to me, this wasn't exactly the context I had in mind. Nevertheless I certainly enjoyed the traffic spike today. And if I'm to believe Mr. Thornton's comment, I provided the campaign office with some midday entertainment.

You meet the darndest people with this blogging thing. I even got a couple of hits from NASA today. And unless they were on their lunch break, I know there's nothing related to work on here. Don't you guys have planets to discover or IMAX movies to make? Shame!

Last stop on the gubernatorial candidate tour

2005-12-11T19:27:00.000-05:00

One day son, this tie will be yours.

And I must say I'm rather disappointed in myself. Much like I felt when I checked out Tom Gallagher's site, I can't say I found much at which to poke fun on Jim Davis's page. I will freely admit that with less than a year to go, my vote is leaning in his direction. But that shouldn't cause you to read anything into my relative lack of satire. I'd like to think that no matter how self-important I might get about my politics that I can retain my sense of humor.

I guess Davis' is probably the sharpest looking site of the four major candidates'. Much was made in the blogosphere about the blog feature on the new page. It's a nice touch politically (blogs are hip, like playing a saxophone on Arsenio), but I'm not terribly sure what that should mean to me. And although Davis' campaign is obviously more committed to the blog (several posts per day, several categories), Charlie Crist has also featured a blog on his site.

But Crist is from Neptune, and I believe human lineage is a prerequisite for holding office.

I think my relative ho-humness with Davis' site is a feeling I often get around election time. Once I pinpoint my likely candidate, I succumb to disappointment upon realizing that said candidate just doesn't excite me as much as they should. I'm far too cynical to buy into most campaign rhetoric, so I probably am incapable of being truly psyched about a candidate. My idea of the perfect politician is certainly impossible today and was likely never possible. I should adjust my expectations, but then I just feel like I'm losing.

In all seriousness there is one firm reason to vote for Davis.

Man needs a home.

Thank you, Grammys

2005-12-11T02:13:00.000-05:00

I normally have absolutely no use for the Grammy nominations, but one category gave me a cause for celebration. Among the five nominees for best new artist is Fall Out Boy, responsible for this year's poster song for the Stop Saving Rock campaign, "Sugar, We're Going Down".

You see, there is a mostly supported curse on the winner of the new artist award. Granted Mariah Carey and Sheryl Crow have heartily survived the curse, but you also have to consider past winners such as Milli Vanilli, Men at Work, Arrested Development and Sheena Easton.

So now there's a one in five chance that the curse will soon haunt Fall Out Boy, ensuring that I won't have to hear them cock it and pull it for too much longer.

I've heard of integrity, but I've never had it

2005-12-11T01:29:00.000-05:00

Merriam-Webster Online says that the most looked-up word on its site in 2005 was "integrity." It's nice to know that as we toss around talking points, we're actually bothering to find out what they mean.

Number 10 on the list? "Inept."

The sheer volume of Bush administration jokes overwhelms me.

When good cities rent bad

2005-12-10T23:36:00.000-05:00

Somebody's trying to kill my booty!

Hey, Tampa; what the heck are you renting?

Netflix, my favorite e-business, has a feature on its website called Local Favorites. It allows you to find out what movies people in a specific area are renting more often than other areas. For example, I learned that New York City is doing everything it can to perpetuate the cliche of its high-falootinness - their list is populated with a ton of foreign films and an 8-disc PBS documentary about, well, New York (which I have admittedly seen and enjoyed). Washington D.C. is striving to learn more about itself: it has The War Room and two seasons of The West Wing on its list. New Orleans is apparently trying to make itself feel better by comparison with films such as Million Dollar Baby, Born Into Brothels and Hotel Rwanda.

But of course my main concern was what my neighbors are watching. I'm concerned.

There's very little rhyme or reason to it. Direct-to-video is apparently a big draw in this area, with such doozies as Blast! (trivia: it's Shaggy's acting debut), Dirty Shield (Netlifx reviewr kf says "This is what happens if you give 3 buzzed Junior High guys a camcorder."), and Death to the Supermodels (IMDb featured quote: "My booty's been poisoned. Somebody's trying to kill my booty!").

We get a twofer of comic book adaptations in Blade (Snipes+Kristofferson=gold) and The Punisher (that it was mostly filmed in the area doesn't make the tagline - The Punishment Begins April 16, 2004 - any less self-fulfilling).

Toss in a Cirque du Soleil video (a live-only experience, I'd imagine) and a grossly overrated Oscar winner (yeah, I know - that link could lead to most any recent Best Picture winner), and you've got a list that's making me not want to leave the house, save maybe to move.

Maybe one day I'll produce my list of movies rented on Netflix and give everyone a chance to tear into my taste in movies. I promise you Shaggy's not in any of them.

6.1 billion people can't be wrong

2005-12-09T20:28:00.000-05:00

While most sports fans took a nap Friday in preparation for Saturday's awarding of an oversized army man toy, the rest of the world is buzzing.

The final draw. World Cup is coming.

The groups for World Cup 2006 in Germany were announced today. Most agree that Group C, featuring two powerhouses (Argentina, the Netherlands) and two popular sleeper picks (Cote d'Ivoire, Serbia and Montenegro), is the toughest draw. The other group making noise happens to feature the Cup's perennial disinterested party, the US.

This may sound like cliched American paranoia, but I can't imagine it's much of a coincidence that this team, arguably the best US team ever to compete in a World Cup, has been tossed in a Group of Death. The US will face a slightly faded but still dangerous power (Italy, ranked #12 in FIFA), a recently surging favorite (Czech Republic, #2), and what many consider to be the best African team in the Cup (Ghana, #50).

But why shouldn't we get such a tough draw? Short of winning it all, I can't imagine this World Cup doing what all the others have not been able to do - shoot soccer out of the US sports fringes. And can you imagine the worldwide despair over a US win? They don't even call it the right name! They don't care!

The lack of popularity for soccer here is still perplexing to me. In a country that gives NASCAR, golf and frickin' poker primo television coverage, how can soccer be called boring? It has political intrigue, crazy fans, cool post-scoring dances - what more do you want? I do believe that the difficulty of ad placement in a sport that never stops does have a lot to do with it, but that can't be the whole of it. At the very least, this years Cup will feature a less severe time difference (2002's Korean edition had the US playing their huge quarterfinal match against Germany at 7:30 AM ET).

June is usually a pretty busy month for US sports. Major League Baseball is slowly gearing up after the doldrums of the first few months of the season, while both the NBA and the NHL (when they're actually playing) decide their champions. For the rest of the world, there is World Cup and nothing more.

Whether we watch or not, it'll be a blast.

Google the globe

2005-12-08T21:01:00.000-05:00

When I first saw a link to Google Earth on Google's home page, I thought that maybe they had finally taken over as we expected.

While that day is surely coming, the link was much more interesting. Google created a program not unlike all those satellite image sites, only, well, Googlier.

You can search for just about any address (with only some minor inaccuracies found thusfar). And tell me you don't feel like you're the special effects coordinator of a summer spy movie when you call up an address and watch the zoom go from the globe to your block.

You can upgrade to fancier, "pro" versions of the program - you know, professional time wasters - for some cash, but the basic version is free. You definitely need a broadband and a computer with at least a little horsepower. That's you. Give it a whirl.

Another milestone

2005-12-08T20:29:00.000-05:00

This post's all for me.

Number 100.

What a fantastic opportunity to knock one out of the park.

Oh well.

I meandered around the archives (which still aren't displaying the sidebar properly - sorry) as a way of review. Wow. Meandering is right. It's a good thing that search for a reason is purely figurative.

You can't use a bulldozer to study orchids
He said so

- The Magnetic Fields - "The Death of Ferdinand de Saussure"